History Repeats
by AliseAndrews
Summary: Deals with the aftermath of Wedding Bell Blues for Emily. Spoiler alert. Rated PG for intense family themes. Please read and review! I would love your comments!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Gilmore Girls. This is an original story based on the spoilers for the upcoming episodes. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's note: This is my very first ever Gilmore Girls fanfic, though I have written for other shows before. It is based upon the spoilers for the upcoming episodes so those of you who are spoiler-free—I applaud your willpower, you may not want to read this story. Though I am a romantic and am interested in the Lorelai/Luke storyline, I am more interested in the family relationship aspects of the show—Emily/Lorelai, Lorelai/Rory, Emily/Rory, Richard/Rory, Richard/Lorelai, and Emily/Richard. I particularly find the relationship between Emily and Lorelai fascinating. So, that having been said, I hope you enjoy my first venture.

"History Repeats"

"You and me, we're done," her words haunted me. At first I didn't think too much of it—Lorelai and her dramatics! Lorelai had left right after the picture, and it wasn't like I could have gone after right then, I had a room full of important people for goodness sake! Besides—I had noticed that Rory had walked after her, and if anyone could calm her down, it was Rory. She was most likely drunk, and after her hangover she would be just fine. But then I saw Christopher—sitting at a table, head in his hands and I knew what had happened. That was when the fear starting knawing at me.

When Lorelai didn't show up to see us off, I kept telling myself that she was just busy at the inn, yet I kept looking over the crowds of people, hoping that I would see her—but she never came. She was only drunk, I kept telling myself. She didn't mean what she had really said.

It was a week later—when we were in Paris that the dream started. It had been so long since it had come that I had put it out of my mind all together. Now—it has come every night since—now, I know that something is terribly wrong. The first time the dream came was when Lorelai was two. It had shaken me so badly that I had woken up screaming for my baby and could not stop until Richard ran and got Lorelai and brought her to me. The dream started in a park on a Spring day, Richard was pushing Lorelai in a swing, and I was getting a picnic lunch ready. It was so perfect—just the three of us, our little family—so happy. There were no job pressures, no social engagements, just a perfect sunny day. "Time to eat!" I'd call, and Richard would heft Lorelai up on his shoulders and with a laugh that sounded like Heaven's music, Lorelai would hug onto Richard's head as they made their way over to me. My heart would burst as I watched the two people I loved most on the earth walk towards me. Richard would gently set Lorelai down and I would bring out the sandwiches.

Suddenly, the sky darkened with terrible black clouds, and lightening started shooting out of the sky. I could hear Richard yelling for us to take cover, and I reached out for Lorelai but she moved away from me. Suddenly we weren't in a park anymore, it was a cliff and Lorelai was headed right for it.

"Lorelai!" I was screaming, "Lorelai, turn around, look at Mommy—Please! Come to Mommy! Come to Mommy!" I would keep screaming. She turned and looked at me—as if to acknowledge my presence, and then turned and kept walking. I ran for her, but I couldn't make it in time. She walked right over the edge of the cliff. "No!" I would scream as I watched her fall. "No!" and then it was over. Sometimes it was different—sometimes I would watch her be hit by an oncoming car, or be kidnapped by a stranger in a mall. Each time, I couldn't get to her.

Tonight it had taken all my willpower not to wake Richard up as I woke from the dream again. I was so afraid to tell him what happened, afraid he would be angry. He will know soon enough what I have done. I take another sip of my wine glass and close my eyes as if in dread of what is to come.

"Are they here yet?" Richard asked as he stood in front of me, giving me the non-verbal message that he wanted me to straighten his tie. I swallowed hard, "No," I said in the most assuring voice I could muster, "Please…"I silently prayed, "Please let it be "they." The doorbell rang and Richard hurried downstairs.

"Rory!" he exclaimed happily. I waited at the top of the stairs, my eyes closed, hoping against hope I'd hear her voice.

"Emily!" Richard called, "Emily come down, Rory's here!" She wasn't here—my heart started to beat wildly, but I forced myself to smile. I wasn't going to let Rory see me like this. I smiled, in the same social smile I have forced myself to give when I wasn't feeling like it, and came down the stairs. Richard had a sparkle in his eyes, as he talked to Rory, a sparkle that she can always bring out in him. That was a difference between them. Heaven knows I love Rory, but with Richard it was something different. Richard had sought and found the Daddy/daughter relationship he had lost with Lorelai in Rory. He was happy to let Lorelai live her life, as long as he had his girl. I didn't want Rory for a daughter. I wanted Lorelai

"Rory!" I call out, and hug her too me. "Hi Grandma," she says quietly, and she doesn't hug me back. My heart jumps into my throat—she's not hugging me back. "Where's your mother?" Richard asks, putting his hand on Rory's back and leading her into the living room. "She's not coming," Rory answers, and she looks back at me. It stops me dead in my tracks. "Not her too…Dear God please, not her too," I pray silently. Richard is oblivious to what is going on. He is pouring the drinks. "Emily, I think we should give this little girl the surprise we brought back for her from Greece," I smile slightly, keeping my eyes on Rory, trying to asses how mad she is at me. Rory is silent too. Richard brings out the present, an antique book Richard had picked out himself. Rory smiles, brushing her hand over the book. "It's beautiful," she whispers, and for one moment—one brief moment I think everything is going to be okay.

"I can't accept it," she says resolutely, staring both of us in the eyes. Richard looks as if he has been slapped. "What?" he asks incredulously. She turns to him, and her face softened slightly. "I'm sorry Grandpa, I really love it, but I can't accept it."

"No!" I want to scream at her, "Don't do this to him, not again!" But I do what I always do, I get angry.

"That's no way to talk young lady, we've given you a lovely present, and it is good manners to accept it." She snickers and turns to me. There is a look of disdain in her eyes that turns my stomach.

"You're one to talk about good manners, aren't you Grandma?" she says, I swallow hard to keep control. "Rory," I state firmly, "Whatever is going on between your mother and me doesn't concern you."

"Doesn't concern me?" she yells, "Doesn't concern me? Grandma, she is miserable! She and Luke have broken up, she is devastated. My mom is at one of the lowest points in her life and it doesn't concern me?" Richard takes a quick drink,

"Lorelai, lower your voice," he says sharply, and I don't know if he is using Rory's full name, or reliving terrible memories.

"Grandpa, I'm sorry, I didn't want to put you in the middle of this," she says and then turns back on me, "I just wanted to come by and tell you both that I won't be coming for Friday night dinner anymore." My heart stops—it literally stops.

"What?" I whisper. She swallows and I can tell this is hard for her. "I won't side against Mom—period. She doesn't want you in her life, and I can't have you in mine either, it's too hard. That's what I came to say. I also came to say that I wouldn't feel right about taking your money for Yale. I intend to apply for student loans, and pay your money back whenever I can."

"Rory…no," Richard whispers, in a terrible fearful voice I haven't heard in years. She turns to him, and gives his hand a squeeze. "Grandpa, this isn't about you, I promise. I'll keep in touch." She gives him a quick kiss of the cheek, and he wraps his arms around her, as if in desperation, as if to keep her with him.

"I should go," she says, and I am having trouble breathing. "Rory, please, this has nothing to do with you. It's between your mother and me." She straightens up to her full height, and if she ever looked like her mother she really looks like her now,  
"Grandma…you have a problem with mom, you have a problem with me." She turns and I grab her wrist, "What is wrong with you?" I ask, and this time it is me who is not sure I am talking to Rory or Lorelai. "I did what I thought was best!"

"You know what you did Grandma!" she yells, and then she is gone—the door wide open, and all Richard and I can do is watch her drive off.

Richard steps in front of me and closes the door. I avoid meeting his eyes. This isn't happening—this can not be happening. "What happened?" he asks slowly. Still I can't meet his eyes. "I invited Christopher to the wedding. I told him he still had a chance. He caused a scene at the wedding and Luke and Lorelai have broken up now. Lorelai told me at the wedding…" my voice catches in my throat. "She said we were through." Richard exhales slowly, "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. I stare down at the floor, "I thought it would pass." He slowly brings my chin up to meet his, his eyes are not angry—just terribly sad, defeated.

"Emmy…" he says, calling me by the name he used to call me when we were engaged. His voice is tired, and thick with sadness. He brings me to him, hugging me and I wrap my arms around him. "Emmy…I can't go through this again. I can't loose Rory too." My insides feel like they are being ripped to shreds. Dear God, what have I done!

He takes my hand, and says, "I'm tired, let's go to bed." I make no arguments. It's 7:30 in the evening as we tiredly walk up to bed.

The dream is different this time. This time, it is Lorelai and Rory, the four of us, at the park, and we are laughing at a joke Lorelai made. Then the sky turns black, Richard yells for us to run to cover. I reach out for Lorelai, telling her to come with me, but she grabs Rory's arm and starts to run away from me. "Wait!" I scream for her them to stop. "Lorelai please! Stop!" I yell, "Come back!" This won't happen again, I won't loose them again! I run…faster, faster, I have to catch them. I have to save them from the danger. I am almost there. I can see the cliff, "Lorelai! Give me your hand!" I yell. She turns to me, and her eyes burn with hatred. "You and me, we're done" she says and then taking Rory's hand, she jumps off the cliff.

"No!" I wake up screaming. I search frantically for Richard in the dark but he isn't in the room. "Richard!" I scream loudly, "I want my baby! I want my baby! Richard!" He bursts in the room, and in two steps is to me. "Richard, I want my baby. I want my baby." He enfolds me in his arms, and I cling to him. "I want my baby," I sob over and over again. "It's alright," he says, rocking me back and forth in his arms, kissing the top of my head, "It's going to be alright," he says again, saying reassuring words I don't know if he believes.

"I will not loose them again," I say to myself as I stand outside the diner, getting ready to swallow my pride. No matter what it takes—history is done repeating. No more nightmares. I will end this now. I open the door and he turns around,

"Hello Luke,"


	2. The place for family dinners

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the spoilers for the upcoming Gilmore Girl episodes. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story

Author's Note: Thank you to all who read chapter 1 and those who took the time to tell me what you thought. I really appreciate it! Please let me know what you think of this next part!

History Repeats—chapter 2

He turns around and looks at me—surprise, anger, all of these things are written on this face.

"Mrs. Gilmore," he nods curtly. There is one man sitting at the counter—Kurt, or something.

"Kirk, why don't you give us a minute," Luke says, and the man stands up and then goes and gives Luke a slap of the back,

"I'm right outside if you need me Buddy," he says and then walks past me—flaunting a blue bow in my face.

"Would you like something?" he asks. I shake my head, "No—thank you. Actually, I was wondering if we could talk." His eyes become even more colder. "Okay…now you want to talk to me?" He smirked, "You want to talk to me? To Luke Danes the diner owner?"

"Oh for Heaven's sake," I begin, and as I say it, I curse myself for speaking before I think. He turns away,

"Goodnight Mrs. Gilmore," and switches off the light.

"Luke wait…please!" I call after him, and he slowly turns around. "Please?" I ask, and after what seems like an eternity, he motions for me to sit down.

"Luke…" I begin, and then look away—my foolish pride again. He smirks,

"Okay, how bout I talk and you listen. Who do you think you are? I mean who do you think you are? I'm not Christopher, I know that. I run a diner, that's what I've always done. I don't belong in your world, and you know what—that is just fine by me. And you know what? She doesn't belong there either. She never has and she never will. No matter what you do—no matter how many times you manipulate her, or demean her, she will never belong in your world. She doesn't need you. She doesn't need anybody."

No—Lorelai doesn't need me. I don't know if she ever has. Luke looks at me as if he is waiting for my rebuttal—for me to "breathe fire" as Lorelai used to call it. I don't know what to say—my speech is gone, my control of the situation is gone. There was a part of me that felt that I would be able to play matchmaker again—except this time with Luke—that I would tell him to go back to Lorelai, he would, they'd have each other and I'd have my girls back. Now I don't know what to think, what to say.

"Where do Lorelai and Rory sit?" I ask quietly scanning over the diner. He nods at a table near a window. "Over there—that was there usual spot." I find myself getting up and walking over to the table and smoothing my hand over it, imagining how many real family dinners the two of them had had here.

"You know something…" I laugh a little, amazed that I am about to admit this to him. "I've always been jealous of this place." I turn back around to face him, and smile at the look of surprise on his face. "It's true."

"I had Lorelai in my home for sixteen years—the three of us had dinner together every night. Richard would always be in his paper, Lorelai would have her walkman on, and I couldn't stop criticizing both of them—always telling Lorelai to turn down the music or sit up straight, and telling Richard to put down the paper. That's me…always criticizing. And when Lorelai left, I would always look back at those dinners and think if we could have had one, just one normal family dinner like everybody else. Where we would all talk and really enjoy each other's company…Anyway, I promised myself that if Lorelai and Rory ever came back into our lives—that was what we would have. Real family dinners. But you know what? They don't have real family dinners at my house…they have them here. In some ways, this diner is more Lorelai's home than our house ever was." He was looking at me warily and I could tell what he was thinking—I'm manipulating him, playing the martyr. Okay, enough with the sentimentality—or as Lorelai would say, "Oy with the poodles already"

I cross over to him and pull out the chair to sit down. "Are you in love with my daughter or aren't you?" I ask him. He stares at me for a minute, and then to my surprise, he starts to blink back tears, "Yeah, I am" I lean in closer, "Then what the Hell is the matter with you?" He sits up, slightly bristling at my words. He starts to speak but I cut him off,

"Luke…do you have any children?" He shakes his head, "No," I take a deep breath and go on, "Then you don't know what it is like to feel the terrible fear of a parent—when you wonder every single day if you are measuring up, if you're doing right by them. You don't know what it's like to worry about their well-being, or their happiness day in and day out. And you don't know what it is like when they leave you…" My voice catches in my throat and I curse under my breath—I didn't want to cry. "Luke, you don't know what it's like to want so badly to be a part of your child's life that you will do anything it takes to get back in. To want so badly to have the relationship you see other parent's having with their children." I pause for a moment, and Luke gets a look in his eyes an almost parental look and I wonder if he could be thinking of his nephew.

"Maybe I do," he says quietly.

"Luke what I'm trying is, I was wrong. I was wrong to go to Christopher and tell him he had a chance. I was wrong to go behind her back. It had nothing to do with you running a diner Luke, it never did. Lorelai is in love with you, she wants to marry you. She is complete with you. You said she doesn't need anyone—you are wrong. She needs you. That was what I was afraid of. I didn't want her to go away again. I didn't want to not be needed. Now I've lost them both—and it's all my own fault." I stand up to leave.

"You belong together. Go back to her, or not, it's your choice. I just wanted you to know…I'm sorry."

I get up and walk out the door. It's getting late and Richard will be wondering where I am. But first…there is something I have to do. She doesn't know how many times I have done this over the years—I have never been able to tell her about it. Why? Why can't I just tell her what's in my heart? I pull up across the street from her house and turn out my lights. The light in her bedroom is the only one that's on in the whole house. Its ten o'clock and I know she has an early shift at the inn tomorrow. I start to hum, the old lullaby my mother used to sing to me and the one I used to sing to her, when she was hurt or scared or when I would creep into her bedroom at night after the nanny had put her to sleep. I doubt she even remembers it—along with mashed banana's on toast, it has probably disappeared out of her memory, to some deep dark hole in herself where she is keeping all of her childhood.

I watch through the window as she walks over and turns out the light,

"Good night Baby" I whisper, then silently start the car and drive off.


	3. What Emily Overheard

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story

Author's Note: Thank you for all who have read and reviewed. I have really appreciated your comments! I hope you enjoy this next section—still pretty spoilish so be wary!

"What Emily Overheard"

I don't know what made me do it—wishful thinking I guess. I thought maybe she wouldn't be busy, maybe she would want to grab a cup of coffee or something with me. After all—it had been two weeks since our little spat at Friday night dinner. She did say she would keep in touch. So, as I pulled into the Yale parking lot, I said a little pray that Rory would at least talk to me for a few minutes.

Oh this place, this campus brings back so many wonderful memories. I loved going to school here, I loved the whole atmosphere. As I walk through campus, I can't help but see myself as a girl, studying, walking to class, and wondering if Richard Gilmore was ever going to notice me and drop Pennilyn Lott. Oh as I think about that woman I can't help but feel ashamed of myself. What a fool I made of myself, making such a big deal about her. I felt justified in getting angry over the lunch dates, but to go on and on about it—was that part of what drove Richard away?

The last time I saw Pennilyn was on this campus—the day of the big Harvard/Yale game. Such a wonderful day at the start—just Richard, me, and our girls. Then Pennilyn had showed up and Lorelai had made a fool of me. I close my eyes as I hear her words. "You're my almost mommy," she had said, "You're my almost mommy" I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever be the kind of wife Pennilyn could have been. She seemed to be so confident, so assuring. It had taken me so long to get rid of that fear, and then when I had found Richard's mother's letter—it had brought it all back. Maybe Pennilyn would have made a better wife. I know one things for sure, Lorelai, you're "almost mommy" sure would have done a better job than your real mommy did.

"Okay Emily" I say under my breath. "Enough feeling sorry for yourself."

I walk into her dorm, nodding to the few students I see in her hallway. There is a part of me that hopes Paris isn't there so I won't have to think of small talk with her. There is a part of me that hopes that she is, so if Rory is still mad at me, it won't be as awkward. I walk towards her door and notice it is open.

"So…they are back together?" It's Paris talking.

"Yeah, they are so happy. I knew it would work out between them, I knew it. No matter what anybody says, or thinks, they are perfect for each other. And mom is so happy!" Rory says excitedly. I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief—it's all over, Thank God, it's all over.

"I still can't believe Grandma almost ruined everything…and Dad. I'm still trying to forgive them both. I just can't believe Grandma went behind Mom's back and tried to break them up…just because she wanted someone she could show off, someone with prestige, someone with "good breeding""

I bow my head in shame. "No Sweetie," I think to myself, "That wasn't it. I was afraid. I was afraid of loosing you both." There is a brief silence, and then Paris speaks up, "Maybe she was just trying to do what she thought was best." I smile slightly, touched that Paris was standing up for me.

"Yeah…what was right for her. That's all she thinks about," Rory retorts.

"Oh Rory, that's not true," I want to say to her. "I wanted you to be with your father. I wanted you to have a real family with your mom and your dad." Another long silence and I am getting ready to leave. Obviously, she doesn't want to go anywhere with me.

"The truth is…" Rory starts and a jolt back to my safe hiding place.

"I really miss her." Tears start burning at my eyes,

"_Oh Angel, I miss you too,"_

"I mean, things have never been perfect. I don't have the normal, "knitting, cookie baking, sleep-overs" grandma. She's always been so proper and elegant. When I was younger, I used to pretend she was a queen, and I would even tell some of the kids at school I was related to royalty so they better treat me well or she would order their execution. I guess when we started going over to their house every week, I wanted things to work out so bad, I wanted us to be a family, that I tried to be their mediator, I tried to make peace between them and when this all happened, I just didn't want to play that role anymore. I didn't want to be put in the middle of it—like they've always done."

"_Rory, I'm sorry, I never meant to put you in the middle." _

"I know your grandma loves you," Paris says, "Trust me, I know. I don't have a lot of people that love me in my life. I've learned to recognize it when I see it."

"_My goodness, when did Paris get so philosophical?" _

"I know she does. I love her too,"

"_Oh Rory" _

"I just can't do this anymore,"

"_You won't have to Sweetie, it's all over now. They're back together now, your mother will come around." _

I turn and walk back to my car. It worked—Lorelai and Luke were back together. Everything was going to be okay now. Lorelai and I would be fine—we always were. This was the way we did things, we had our spats, but we always came back. What would we have for dinner tomorrow night? Lorelai did love a good roast—maybe she could round up some twinkies for dessert. Maybe Luke would like to come too. We still aren't on the best of terms, but if it would make Lorelai happy, if it meant Lorelai and Rory would come for dinner, Lorelai could show up with a hobo for all I care. Richard will be so excited!

I check my watch again—for the twelfth time in the last minute. It's 8:30. Melissa comes in again, "Dinner is getting cold Madam. How much longer would you like to wait?"

"We will wait as long as I say wait and I don't want to hear another word about it, is that clear?" I snap at her.

"Yes Mam," she says quietly as she nods.

I take another sip of brandy. I left five messages on Lorelai's answering machine, telling her and Luke to come to dinner. I left messages on Rory's answering machine. Why weren't they here? Everything was fine now!

"Emily, they aren't coming," Richard comes from behind and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"I know," I say quietly, trying to hold back my tears. There is a moment of silence between us.

"Well," he begins, "I have a client I need to go visit," he says and puts on his coat. He is almost to the door when I call his bluff.

"You're going to meet her aren't you."

"Who?"

"Rory, you're going to go meet Rory."

"Emily…"

"Richard, you've had to meet a client every Friday night since Rory was here,"

"Emily…I'm sorry. I never meant to…I just couldn't…."

"It's alright Richard," I say quietly, not turning to look at him for fear I will start crying again.

"Have a good time," I say quietly. I can hear him inhale as if he is about to say something, but he doesn't and walks out the door.

I have never felt so alone.


	4. Emily's Secret

Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate them! For anyone who was wondering about the last chapter—Emily's trip to Yale was made up by me. I have no idea if this is what really happens and if it does—it's purely coincidental. I hope you enjoy this next one—the spoiler alert is still in effect. Also, Emily's "secret" is made up by me as well. Enjoy!

"Emily's Secret"

"What am I doing here?" I ask myself for the seventh time since I pulled up five minutes ago. I mean—I still don't like this guy—I still don't really know him. Wasn't it enough that I swallowed my pride to come here? To tell him I was wrong? But it had been two weeks—two weeks since they had gotten back together and still there was no doorbell ringing on Friday nights, she still wouldn't take my calls. So…here I was, parked outside of the diner. What did I expect to accomplish by coming here? I haven't the slightest idea.

"Hello Luke," I say as I walk into the diner. He turns around and his face seems more amiable this time—that's a blessing.

"Mrs. Gilmore…how are you?"

"Fine thanks…you?"

"Oh, I'm fine," He motions for me to sit down at the counter. The place is sparsely filled tonight—and no sign of that Kurt character. He pours me a cup of coffee.

"Luke, I'll come right to the point, I know you and Lorelai have reconciled, and I'm pleased for you, but Lorelai refuses to still speak to me, and neither she or Rory is coming to Friday night dinners. I want you to talk to Lorelai. I want you to try and convince her to talk to me again."

"Um…Mrs. Gilmore…."

"Luke, I didn't want to come over here the first time—it was very hard for me, but I did it and still Lorelai and Rory haven't come back. Please…"

I never saw his eyes—the warning look he was giving me. The indicating sideways glance he was giving me. I never saw it coming.

"Mom…are you really this stupid?"

I turn around at the sound of her voice—the only sound of her voice I have heard since the wedding besides the hello then click and her answering machine. It is the first time I've seen in her in two months.

"Lorelai…" I really am stupid…It hadn't crossed my mind that she would be here.

"I mean it Mom, are you really this stupid?" Her eyes are so cold, her body language so stiff.

"Lorelai …I…"

"Mom, I can't believe you! You have never liked Luke, from day 1, you never accepted him as my boy friend and having anything to do with Rory's or my life, you demean him, you humiliate him, you plot against him, and then you think everything is wonderful between you and me. What did you think Mom, that you just made a tactical error in controlling me? That you could just make a course correction, try to control Luke instead of Chris? Well guess what Mom, Luke and I made up on our own accord and we didn't need Mommy's permission to do it!"

"Lorelai…" I started to say, but she cut me off.

"No! You don't talk, I talk. I tell you the way it's gonna be from now on. Let me spell it out for you Emily… " and her voice took on a condescending to a child tone, "You and me we're done,"

"Lorelai…just listen to…"

"No Mom, I don't want to listen to you. I don't want to hear your reasoning, I don't want to hear how you did it out of the goodness of your heart—however microscopic the goodness in your heart is. I don't want to hear how you think you know what's best for me. You don't know what's best for me…you never have."

I look around embarrassed—everyone has gone from the diner, and Luke was the only one who was witnessing Lorelai's barrage.

"Do I get to talk at all?" I ask quietly. She shrugs, "Nope, but enjoy the coffee" she says as she turns back around towards the door.

"Well that's too bad!" I call out, and she turns back around, ready for round 2. There is a part of me—in the back of my mind somewhere that is screaming for me to stop, to not yell back at her…why I never listen to that voice, I'll never know.

"You want to lay it all on the line, okay here it is, on the line. You showed up on my doorstep five years ago. The first time in sixteen years…sixteen years! that you show up on my doorstep on a day you're not holiday obligated to be there. You ask me for money for Rory's schooling. And I wanted to be a part of your life—so I asked you for one meal—one night a week, where you would be in my house again—your house again. You had a sixteen year old daughter I didn't even know. Do you have any concept what that was like Lorelai? Do you?"

"Oh give it up Mom" she whined

"You shut your mouth Young lady! You got your chance to talk, now it's my turn…Every single committee meeting I went to, every DAR meeting, my friends were bringing pictures of their grandchildren, telling stories about them. I didn't even know my granddaughter! I didn't know what her favorite color was, or what she liked to do after school. I wasn't there for her first step, her first tooth—any of it. You took that away from me. You purposely shut me out!"

She rolled her eyes like she did when she was sixteen, "Mom, do we really have to do the whole, 'Lorelai I was the perfect mom and you were the child of the devil and you ran away and left me all alone," routine again? Seriously, you need to go back to martyrdom school and learn a new act. You never cared about me, you never wanted a daughter, you wanted a trophy, something that could look pretty and bow and curtsy and amaze your friends. That's all I was to you growing up, and that's all I'll ever be—your rusted old trophy,"

"That is not true!" I yelled.

"Really?" she said, "Oh gee, how bout dad telling everyone at the wedding, "Lorelai had these terrible ear infections. Gosh—she was in such terrible pain, but the terrible part was, we couldn't keep a nanny. I mean, Mary Poppins herself couldn't take care of our little devil—so, Emily had to have the terrible burden of sitting up with her all night—such a tragedy! I mean, the most terrible thing happened. One night, Lorelai was screaming so much that Emily was up all night long and slept late and therefore missed her nail appointment!"

I stood there staring at her—the hurt coursing through me like electricity. Who is this woman? What happened to my little girl? My baby? I can't do this anymore, I have to get out of here.

"You don't know the first thing about me" I said, picking up my purse and walking towards the door. It's hard to walk because it feels like I'm having a heart attack.

"Just stay out of my life. I don't want your interference, your money. I don't want you" she said. I turned around,

"Lorelai…just leave me alone, look…you've won. You have your diner, you have Luke, you've turned my grandbaby against me…Things are right back where they were five years ago. There you go. Marry the first person off the street for all I care."

"Mom…Luke is not the first person off the street! Don't you hear what I'm saying at all?"

I shut my eyes. I just want to get out of there. I just want leave.

"He has been my best friend forever. He is the most patient and kind man in the world. He waited for me. He waited for me forever."

That's it…I can't take anymore of it. I slam my purse down on the table,

"No…I waited for you forever!" I yelled, and was amazed and shocked at the amount of energy that came out as I said the words.

"Here we go," she cried, "Again with the, Lorelai left us bit"

I could leave it at that. Agree with her, walk out the door and go home. But a floodgate has been opened, and I don't think I can stop it now.

"You don't understand…You don't understand anything! I waited for you forever! When your father and I got married, the doctor's told me that I couldn't have children—never would have children! But we didn't believe them, so we went through months and months of fertility treatments, surgeries and procedures. All that time…All that time, I was going to baby showers, for all the Gilmore inlaws, and listening to Richard's mother say things like, "Gilmores have no trouble conceiving, it brings shame to a family when there are no children. If Emily can't have children, there must be something wrong with her." and for four years…every single time I went anywhere I was always, ALWAYS, asked "When are you going to give Richard a child?" "When are you going to have a family?" and I had to listen to whispers about how I was to much of a snob to have children, that I didn't want them."

I stop, trying to catch my breath, trying to push back the emotions that I had hidden for so long. She was just staring at me—in shock.

"When we found out we were pregnant with you…." I started again, stifling a sob. "It was the happiest day of my life."

I was madly wiping away tears, trying to savor some shred of dignity. There was a long moment of silence between us.

"Mom…I don't know what to say to that," she said quietly. "All I ever wanted was to be loved. All I ever wanted was to be accepted for the way I was. If you wanted me so badly, why did you spend my entire life making me believe you didn't care? Why did you let me be raised by nannies who were just there for a paycheck?"

Oh I am so tired. I'm tired of the pain, tired of the loneliness, tired of trying,

"Lorelai, you said to me once that I never knew you. And you were right. But you don't know me either. If you did…you would know that I never wanted the nannies. I never wanted this life…any of it. I wanted to raise my daughter, be there for her, share her hopes and dreams, let her cry on my shoulder when she was hurting…I wanted to be your mom. That's all I ever wanted…since the first day they put you in my arms." I take a deep breath and then take my purse and head to the door. She says nothing…she probably things I am being a martyr again.

I walk to the car, a foolish notion coming into my head that maybe she will come running out the door after me, and I would hold her and tell her I love her.

I wait for twenty minutes…she doesn't come.


	5. Memories and Magazine articles

Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you so much to all who have taken time to read and review the story so far. It means a lot! Spoiler alert still in effect!

I have come to loathe Friday nights. I used to look forward to them all week. Now I dread them—I just want to spend the evening in bed. I tried that tactic once though—retreating to sleep—it didn't work. I try to keep busy—purposely postponing DAR notes, and symphony board papers so I can have something to do. They need me to choose a meeting place for the Spring Ball. I am looking through brochures when Richard walks in the room. He is dressed in his coat and gloves—I swallow hard to keep the wave of jealousy that comes over me down. He is going to see Rory—he has been meeting with Rory every Friday night since she told us she wasn't coming over to dinner anymore.

"Emily…I'm leaving now." I don't say anything. I'm afraid if I do say something it will be to yell at him for being the "favorite" again.

"Emily, why don't you come with me?" Again nothing—I don't want his pity, I don't want him patronizing me and coaxing Rory to come back.

"It's been over a month…maybe things would be okay. Maybe she wants to see you."

Oh Richard—please, just leave, I want to scream at him. Go to your girl, she's always liked you better anyway!

"I don't think so Richard, if she wanted to see me, she would have come." He places a hand on my shoulder and then reaches down and kisses me on the side of my head.

"It's going to be alright," he says gently and I find myself bringing my hand up to stroke his cheek.

"Have a good time," I say quietly—the same thing I have said every Friday night.

The door shuts behind him and the house is silent. I can't hear a thing except for the ticking of the clock. For a moment, such an awful loneliness sweeps over me, I want to go into the kitchen and strike up a conversation with one of the maids. I sit on my hands for a moment, rocking back and forth, trying to keep my mind on DAR and Symphony board problems.

Almost without thinking about it, I find myself going upstairs—to the third door on the right. Why…WHY? It only serves to make the pain worse! Still, I open the door, and step inside. I haven't touched this room since the day she left it twenty years ago. The elaborate dollhouse, the porcelain dolls, the collection of snow globes, and the posters of rock bands and teenage idols are all untouched. I sit on her bed…and smooth my hand over the satin bedspread.

"_Push Emily," Dr. Reynolds commanded. "Push hard!" The pain was too intense…I was too tired, I wanted to stop, begged to be able to stop, _

"_I can't push anymore Joshua! I can't! Where's Richard! I want Richard!" _

"_Emily…"Joshua's voice was firm, "The baby is coming, your baby is almost here but I need your help to get him here." Another wave of pain hit _

"_AAAHHHH!" I screamed, "Joshua, if you don't get this thing out of me…" _

"_I can see the head…Emily, I can see the head. Keep pushing…you can do this!" _

_I couldn't…I couldn't keep pushing. _

"_I can't do it anymore! I just can't!" _

"_You can!" Joshua yelled. "You can!" _

_I was ready to quit, I was ready to give up…and then, I realized it was really happening. I was going to become a mother! I was going to give Richard a child! In just a few moments I would have a child… a baby that was my own! Suddenly I knew there was a tiny creature at stake here—someone needed me, someone depended on me and if it was the last thing I did…if it came out of the last breath I would ever take, I would give life to this baby. I grabbed the nurses hand, _

"_Okay! Here we go!" I yelled, took a deep breath, and bared down. _

"_Yes Emily! Yes!" Joshua yelled. "We're almost there!" _

_All of my energy was draining out of me. It seemed as though as I was giving life, my own was draining into the hospital bed. _

"_One last push!" I heard Joshua's voice that seemed like miles away. I drew a breath that I was almost sure would be my last, and pushed. I fell back on the pillow, sweat pouring from my forehead, certain I was dying…until I heard the sound—the sound I had been waiting all my life to hear…the sound of a baby…my baby, crying. _

_Joshua stood up and in his arms he held a baby—the tiniest baby I had ever seen—and with such a thick head of hair! I covered my mouth with my hand…Could this be happening? Could this really be happening to me? _

"_Emily…say hello to your daughter," Joshua said as he lowered her into my arms. I gave a little cry of joy, _

"_It's a girl?" _

"_It's a beautiful baby girl," he replied. I started crying as he placed her in my arms. _

"_She's so beautiful!" I said quietly…almost reverently. _

_Joshua smiled. "Now, I think we'll leave you alone for a moment. I'll head down to the waiting room…I happen to know there is probably a very anxious daddy ready to meet his new little girl." I smiled at him, hoping he would know how grateful I was for his delivering my little miracle. The door shut and I was alone with her. _

"_Hi…"I muttered weakly knowing that this was one person I didn't have to worry about making good impressions. This is one person I knew would love me for who I was._

"_I'm your mommy. I'm going to take care of you." I said quietly, fingering one of her tiny hands in mine. _

"_Listen kiddo…it's a strange family that you've been born into. It's not going to be easy. But I want you to know…" my voice caught in my throat, "you are loved and wanted. Your daddy and I have wanted you for so long. Your daddy is such a good man, and he will love you and protect you. I leaned in closer to her as if sharing a secret with her…the first of many we would undoubtedly share. "And I want you to know that you are the most important thing in this world to me, and I will always love you. You are my baby and I am your mommy, and that will never ever change." _

Thirty-seven years…thirty-seven years had gone by since that day and what did I have to show for it? An empty room…a shrine built to the daughter I never knew, filled with the beautiful presents—the most expensive excuses money can buy. In my heart of hearts I know I have blamed Lorelai for running away, but it was me who was to blame. Years ago in that hospital room I had made a promise…and I didn't keep it.

I stay in the room for a few more minutes and then head downstairs. I'm tired, and hungry. I hope the staff is somewhere else besides the kitchen, as I just want to eat in piece. But as I near the kitchen, I can hear nervous giggling.

"Serves her right!" one maid said, "Coming from her own daughter…that will show her!"

"Shh!" another warned loudly, "She'll hear you!"

"So what if she does…I don't care. It will be worth it just to see the look on her face when she reads all the stuff that Lorelai said about her and know that all of her friends will be reading it too,"

I step around the corner, and the maid just talking turned three shades of red in ten seconds.

"Mrs. Gilmore…I…" She was holding something behind her back.

"What do you have there?" I asked. She fervently shook her head in protest. I simply extended my hand and straightened up to my full height. With shaking hands she brought out a magazine from behind her back. It was open to a page. I immediately recognized the picture of the Dragonfly Inn and Lorelai. A wave of pride swept over me...this was wonderful, good for her! Then one of the subheadings jumped out at me. Then I saw what the maids were laughing at.

"This Idyllic inn resides in a true Mayberry town, but inn owner, "Lorelai Gilmore wasn't exactly raised by Aunt Bea… 'Are you kidding?' Gilmore says, 'I was raised by Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Endora all rolled into one."

The maids are shaking in their shoes, I take a deep breath and once again, I feel like the life is draining out of me.

"Get out of my kitchen" I say quietly and the three of them shuffle out the door.


	6. Rory's Choice

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: And so the hiatus begins! Thankfully we have the wonderful world of fan fiction to keep us entertained. I hope you enjoy this next update to the story. Obviously, my take on things is very different from the way they are turning out. I am not going to try to mix my story with the actual episodes. I will just keep writing based upon what I have written in previous chapters. There is not a whole lot of actual spoilering going on in this chapter, my own speculation mostly. That having been said, on with the show!

I stand there in the kitchen, holding the magazine in my hands—not sure of what to do. I can't bring myself to read the rest of it, Heaven only knows what else she has said about me. I put the magazine down on the counter and walk back upstairs slowly. I feel old.

"_Mommmy" I said exaggerating every syllable. "Mommmy, Say mommy Lorelai" The little girl smiled at me and shook her head, tossing her curls about. _

"_Daddy!" she said gleefully. From the newspaper behind me came a chuckle. _

"_You're her favorite" I said sulkingly. Richard put down his paper and held out his arms for Lorelai. _

"_Am I your favorite Lori-bug? Is daddy your favorite?" Lorelai tottered over to him. _

"_You are so rubbing it in!" I said, hitting him on the leg. _

"_Excuse me mum…" Patricia came slowly into the room. "I was wondering if I should be putting the little girl asleep now," _

"_Yes, Patricia, we're ready for you." Richard called. I suddenly felt a wave of regret sweep over me. Couldn't I put her to bed? Just this once? I still wasn't used to this. I had never had a nanny growing up and had never wanted one for my children—but it was the Gilmore way. "Generations of Gilmores have had nannies to take care of them. It is just the way a proper family is run." _

"_Okay Lori-bug-a-boo. Give daddy a kiss," She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. Patricia made a move to pick her up, but I held up my hand. _

"_Just a minute…I'll bring her to you." I said and held out my arms for her. Lorelai smiled and hugged me tightly around the neck. _

"_Have a good sleep my Angel" I told her, "I love you," _

_I picked her up and handed her to Patricia. The nanny smiled and held out her arms for her. Lorelai giggled and went into her arms. "Mom-my" she cried delightedly. _

_I fired Patricia the next morning—I guess she was the first of many." _

My footsteps resound in the lonely hallway. I wished Richard would get home—he'd be gone for hours. I could picture he and Rory going for a walk around campus, or getting ice cream at the campus Baskin Robbins, and just talking. I was on the outside looking in…they were still a family, Rory, Lorelai and Richard and I was being left out of the fun. It was all my own fault.

I think I will try to go to bed. I walk into our bedroom, with the large four poster bed, and the burgundy satin bedspread. I lay down on the bed, and look at my television set—with my DVD player—the DVD player she had given me on one of our good days. I had criticized her then too, telling her she didn't know what she was doing when she was installing it. She was being nice. She wanted me to have a DVD player so I could watch my musicals. And all I could do was criticize. I lay back on my pillow and smooth my hand over Richard's pillow. At least he was here—what would I have done if something like this had happened last year, and I hadn't had him either.

"Emily?" the door slowly opened and Richard peered in. "Richard?" I looked toward the open door. His face was very serious.

"Yes, it's me. I need you to come with me right now." A jolt of panic shoots through me and I sit up on the bed.

"Rory…is something wrong? Is she hurt?" He crosses over to me and takes my hand.

"Emily, I had absolutely nothing to do with this. I want you to believe me."

"Richard…please tell me what's going on. Is Rory hurt? Is she alright?

"She's fine Honey. Just fine," he says as he leads me down the stairs. I look up and there she is…she's here. She's in my house and she is smiling at me.

"Hi Grandma," she says quietly. I just stand there staring at her…afraid I am dreaming, afraid to hope.

"Hi Sweetie," I reply. Richard gives me a pat on my shoulder,

"I've got some work to do," he says and walks away.

"I want you to know…" she begins. "He didn't have anything to do with this. He didn't tell me to come here. I made that choice on my own." I nod slowly—still too afraid to hope.

"I do things that I believe are right or wrong, I don't do things because people tell me too. I got mad at you that night because I was hurt. I love mom and Luke and I want them to be happy and to see them hurting hurt me. I made that choice Grandma. I did that all on my own and I am going to make another one right now."

She walks towards me, and my eyes fill with tears. She smiles her sweet angelic smile at me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I love you Grandma. I love you for who you are. I don't agree with what you did and I never will. But I still love you…" she stops and tears up herself, "…and I still want you in my life—my life. What mom does is her own business but I wanted you to know…I forgive you."

"Rory…" I can barely speak her name, "I'm so sorry,"

"I know Grandma…I know," I cup her face in my hands. She reaches up and wipes away one of my tears.

"Grandma…it's going to be okay," she says. I have always tried to be so proper around her, never show her any vulnerability. My resolve is crumbling. I bite my trembling lower lip and look down at the floor.

"It's going to be okay Grandma," she says again as she puts her arms around me. I hold her in my arms, rocking her back and forth, my hand cupping the back of her forehead. Our mutual bursts of tears are the only sound in the room.

_It had been two hours since they took her into the delivery room. Richard had tried to get me to go home, saying that someone would call when the baby came. But I couldn't leave—as furious as I was with her, I couldn't leave my baby. I could hear her screaming…swearing up a storm, and I tried to cover up my hurt and disappointment at not being there with her by making snide remarks to Richard about the hospital facility. But inside, I felt completely helpless—it had been two hours! What if something was wrong—she was so young! Would they tell me? Would they tell me if she was having trouble? I got up and started pacing back and forth. If only someone would come out and tell us what was happening! _

_Suddenly…there was silence…complete silence and my heat skipped a beat. Then I heard a cry. It was here—the baby was here. I looked over at Richard and he sadly smiled at me. We were grandparents. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be in there, letting Lorelai squeeze my hand when the pain got bad. There should be a father here—nervously cutting the umbilical cord. I should be throwing an elaborate baby shower, and picking out a christening dress. But I should be in there. I should be meeting my first grandchild. _

_Minutes go by…no one comes out of the room. Five minutes…ten minutes…we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl! Fifteen minutes…was something wrong? Twenty minutes…will we get to see the baby? Suddenly the door opens and Richard shoots to his feet. He has an anxious look in his eyes that have become so passive over the years. He steps forward towards the doctor. _

"_Is our daughter alright?" The doctor nods. "Yes, Lorelai is fine…both Lorelai's are fine." He motions towards the door and a nurse comes out holding a pink blanketed bundle. _

"_Grandma, Grandpa, I'd like you to meet Lorelai Gilmore," the nurse says. Richard stares nervously at the bundle as the nurse places the baby in his arms. He is such a tall man now the baby looks even tinier in his arms. He acts as though she is made of glass and he is afraid he'll drop her. He has lost his touch. The years of business before fatherhood, nannies and his Lori-bug growing away from him has made him forget. _

"_Oh my goodness," he says quietly. He walks towards me and I hold out my arms. I am almost afraid to hold her, almost afraid to let her into my heart. _

"_Another girl," I say smiling as I hold her, rocking her back and forth. I have forgotten how to do this too. _

"_Welcome to the world Lorelai" I say and then I lean forward, as if sharing a secret with her…the first of many we would undoubtedly share. "I love you. I'm your grandma, and you're my grandbaby, and I will always love you." The nurse smiles and steps forward. _

"_We need to take her now Mrs. Gilmore," reluctantly, I hand the little miracle over to her. _

"_I want to see my daughter," I say anxiously. I want to see for myself she's okay. The nurse looks at me with determination but also sympathy. _

"_I'm sorry…Lorelai doesn't want to see you right now. She asked me to bring the baby out here and then ask you to go home and come back tomorrow." _

"_Oh…okay" I say—hurt, not surprised, but still hurt._

"_Tell her we'll be back tomorrow." _

"_I will" she says and then she takes the baby away, to go back to her mother, my daughter. Richard comes up behind me and places his arm on my shoulder. _

"_She'll be alright Emily." _

"_I know…I just wanted to see her and make sure the labor wasn't too hard on…" _

"_That's not what I mean…she's going to be alright in life Emily. That baby is a miracle. Lorelai is going to be alright now." _

_He wraps his arm around me, _

"_Come on, let's go home," _


	7. A New Friend

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who have taken the time to post feedback. It is most appreciated. I hope you enjoy this next part of the story! Spoiler warning still in effect!

He is hovering—he always hovers when he has a point to make and doesn't know how to make it. He is also making the really annoying sigh sounds at regular intervals.

"Richard," I say to him, "You can stop now. I'm not going." He came and sat down next me.

"Ever?"

"Maybe"

"You are never going to go to another DAR meeting as long as you live?"

"Maybe!"

"Emily!"

"Richard—I am not going and nothing you can say will change my mind. I don't think I can ever show my face in public again!"

"Emily, how do you know they've even seen it?"

I turned and smirked at him,

"Richard, she probably gift wrapped an autograph copy and hand delivered to everyone of my friends."

"Now Emily...she did know such thing," I got up and started walking away. I didn't want to admit that I was angry with him. He had done nothing wrong. But I am still angry with him. He gets up and follows after me.

"I just don't think you should give up your entire life because your daughter said some things about you in a magazine article." I turned back around to face him,

"Richard—you don't get it."

"What? What don't I get?"

Oh I want to tell him! I want to scream it at him, "_My daughter IS my life!" _But I don't say it.

"Richard! What do you want from me? Do you want me to go to the DAR meeting? Is that what you want?" I walk over to the coat closet, grab my coat and my purse.

"Fine...I'll go to the meeting, and I will sit there and be stared at and then tell the ladies of the society all at once so I won't have to repeat myself how I am Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Endora, all rolled up into one. Are you happy?" He catches my hand on the way out draws me back in and kisses me.

"I'm only trying to help," he says. I smile sadly at him.

"She didn't say anything about you Richard. She still likes you." I go out the door and get in my car and drive away.

"_Mommy...do you have to go out tonight?" she asked as she lay on my bed. I looked at her through the reflection in the mirror. She was lying on her back and waving her feet in the air—she couldn't sit still for a moment!_

"_Yes, Daddy and I have to go to the Hampton's party tonight, but Elana will be here with you and you'll have lots of fun!" I continued putting on my makeup. She was now on her stomach and pretending to swim around the bed. _

"_Lorelai, don't get the bed all messed up," I told her, "Why can't you a proper little lady?" She stopped and there was silence for a few minutes. I have learned to be wary of silence. I turned around and looked at her. She was lying still on the bed, her arms and legs rigidly straight forward. She was staring up at the ceiling. _

"_What are you doing?" I asked her, trying to hold back a chuckle. _

"_Being a proper little lady," she replied. I smiled and shook my head. I went back to the mirror and started to put up my hair. _

"_Mommy?" _

"_Yes?" _

"_If I was a proper little lady, would you stay home and play with me?" I put the brush down and turned to her, my heart breaking. I got up and went over to her, my dress swishing as I walked. I laid down on the bed with her and held out my arms for her. She looked up at me..._

"_I don't want to squish your dress" she said quietly. I reached out and brought her into me._

"_I like squished dresses better," I answered back. She put her arms around me, and I ran my fingers through her hair. _

"_Sing me my song," she said after a few minutes, and I started to sing her lullaby. For a moment, there was nothing else in the world. No dinner parties, no undoubtedly impatient husband downstairs, no commitments, just me and my six year old angel. She laid her head on my chest and started to hum along. When the song was finished she smiled, _

"_I like that song," she said. _

"_Me too," I answered back. Suddenly the door opened,_

"_Emily...what are you doing, you haven't even put up your hair yet." Lorelai looked up at him embarrassed. _

"_It's my fault Daddy," she said. I looked up at him—this man I loved, that I adored, but saw a look in his eyes that I didn't like. An indifference, a superiority look that had been there more and more when he looked at Lorelai. Oh Richard—just look at her, really look at her! Tell her that you love her! _

"_Emily, the car will leave in fifteen minutes. Please be ready!" he said and then turned and walked out the door. I got up and walked back over to the mirror. I finished putting my hair up in a twist and then turned to look at her. It was the first time I had ever seen the look in her eyes—a look I would see more and more as the years went by. But this was the very first time and it took my breath away—disappointment...disillusionment. _

"_Have a good time with Elana" I said. _

"_Okay," she replied. _

"_I'll be home tonight but not until after you're asleep," _

"_Okay" _

"_Are you going to come kiss me goodnight?" She hopped off the bed and came over to me, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me on the cheek. _

"_Goodnight Mommy," I hugged her to me. _

"_Goodnight Baby, I love you," She broke away from me and her big blue eyes seemed to be looking me over. _

"_I know," she said quietly and walked towards the door. _

"_Mommy?" she called as she turned around. _

"_Yes?"_

"_You look very pretty" she said smiling at me. _

I sit in my car, staring at the reception hall. I don't have to go in, I could just drive away, go to the mall or something. But in a way Richard is right. I have to still live my life. I can't run away from it forever. I turn off the car and walk inside. It feels as though everyone is looking at me...the receptionists, the caterers. I keep walking until I get to our meeting room. Sandra Ellingsworth is the first one that sees me.

"Emily! Where have you been? We've missed you!" She gave me a big hug. I couldn't tell if she was sincere or patronizing me.

"Oh, I've had that flu that's been around lately. Terrible!" I said—lying though my teeth.

"Well, you poor dear, come and sit down,"

I pensively walk over to the table, scanning the ladies to see if any of them had the snooty judgmental look on their face. I looked around the table and saw someone I had never seen before—a younger woman, with dark hair that was pulled up into a stylish twist. I had to do a double take. She looked exactly like Lorelai!

"_Lorelai?" I called for the tenth time almost banging on the door. The music was still blaring. _

"_Lorelai answer me!" the music finally stopped. I knocked again_

"_What!" came the answer from the other side of the door. _

"_Don't use that tone of voice with me!" _

"_What do you want Mom?" _

"_Can I come in?" There was a pause. _

"_It's your house" she replied. I opened the door pensively and walked in. The room looked like a hurricane had struck. In the midst of the pile of clothes, Lorelai lay on her bed painting her toenails. _

"_Looking at this room, you'd think we didn't have any maids at all." _

"_I like it this way," she replied, not looking up from her work. I walked over to the bed, and cleared a spot to sit down. She was thirteen—so withdrawn, so far away from me. _

"_Can I ask you something?" I started quietly. _

"_Shoot" she replied, still not looking up. _

"_The DAR mother daughter reception is coming up..." _

"_Oh Mom," she whined. _

"_Lorelai stop it. I'm not asking you to undergo major surgery. I'm asking you to come spend one night with me." _

"_So you can show me off, wind me up and make me walk around curtseying and shaking hands. 'Pull Lorelai's string and she says thirteen different cordial phrases!" I looked away from her, not wanting her to see the hurt look that crossed my face. _

"_What night is it?" she asked quietly. I felt a glimmer of hope. _

"_The thirteenth," She rolled her eyes. "Mom, that's the night of the school dance! Chris already asked me to go!" Oh I was beginning to loathe the name Chris!_

"_So...you don't want to come?" _

"_Gee, let me think about it...no"_

_I stood up and looked down at her. There was a few moments of silence between us. _

"_But I don't really have a choice do I?" she asked. _

"_No," I said coldly as I turned and walked out of the room. _

"Emily? Emily, dear are you feeling alright?" Sandra asks. I shake myself out of my remembering.

"Yes Sandra, I'm fine," I reply. She leads me over to the newcomer, who stands up and extends her hand. I try not to stare at her...she really looks like Lorelai!

"Emily, this is our new member, Mrs. Melissa Bates. You know Rodney and Melanie Ashworth of Boston? Well, this is their daughter. She's the widow of Charles Bates—poor thing." I take her outstretched hand,

"How do you do?" I say. She smiles at me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Gilmore, I've heard so much about you." she says. I wince—good or bad?

"You are something of a legend in the world of the DAR." she continues. I hope we can get to know each other better. I find myself intrigued by this woman.

"That would be nice," I reply. The meeting starts and the young Mrs. Bates is full of energy and ideas. She gives us suggestions for the upcoming debutante ball, and for the summer conference meeting. I don't think we have ever had a meeting that has gone by this fast! The meeting ends and strangely I've forgotten that I was ever scared to come to the meeting in the first place. I stick around, making small talk with the other ladies and then say goodbye and walk to my car. I am almost to the door when I hear someone coming up from behind me.

"Mrs. Gilmore?" Mrs. Bates calls.

"Yes, Mrs. Bates?"

She smiles, "Please...call me Melissa"

I smile back, "Emily"

"I was wondering Emily, I've been so busy organizing the affairs of my husband's estate, and we moved here so shortly before he died, I just feel like I don't know anyone. I was wondering...would you like to get some tea?"

"Yes...yes I would," I reply with a smile


	8. Missie's Story

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to give me feedback. I really appreciate it! By now, my story has kind of taken on a life of its own, but there is spoilerish flavorings, so the warning is in effect!

This is one of my favorite places. The whole tea room smells like roses and the tables are covered with crisp white linen tablecloths with lace embroidered on the bottom. The tea services are sterling silver and the pastries are absolutely divine.

"Mrs. Gilmore! What a pleasure to see you!" Viktor, the owner says in a European accent as he comes up to me. He takes my outstretched hand and kisses it. "It's nice to see you again Viktor," I reply smiling, "We'd like a table please." With an elegant sweep of his wrist he leads us to the table.

"Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you," he says pouring two steaming cups of tea and handing us a menu.

"This place is beautiful," Melissa says, examining the surroundings.

"Yes it is, I've always liked coming here," I reply, "So…tell me about yourself. I have heard of your mother, and I read in the paper about your husband's death but I've never heard anything about you."

She laughed lightly.

"You must not read much Emily—it feels like that's all I see in the papers anymore, "The Black Bates Widow."

"What?"

"The tabloids think I killed Charles off to try and get the money—even his family thinks I am some young broad out to get their money."

"That's terrible!"

"Well—that's the press. You probably know how cruel they can be,"

"_Yeah—yeah I do" _

"Well, you tell me about the real you," I say.

"Okay—well, I'm the oldest child and only daughter of the Ashworths of Boston. I married Charles Bates seven years ago—two days before my thirtieth birthday."

This is really weird—"I have a daughter about your age." I say.

"Really? What's her name?"

"Lorelai."

"Oh, that's lovely, is it a family name?"

"Yes, it was her grandmother's name."

"Your mother's?"

"No—my husband's. My mother's name was Victoria. It's Lorelai's middle name"

"Tell me about her…your daughter," she asks.

I inwardly cringe. I didn't want to get into Lorelai

"She's very successful, she owns an inn in Stars Hollow. Her daughter is a student at Yale right now—she's at the top of her class, and a reporter for the school paper."

"Very impressive" Melissa said smiling. Before she could ask about Lorelai's husband, I quickly turn it back over to her.

"Now…you were telling me about you," I prod.

"Not much else to tell…what do you want to know?"

"How did you meet Mr. Bates?" I asked. At that, a shadow seemed to creep over her face.

"He was a business associate of my fathers." She looks down at the floor for a moment and I could guess there was more to the story.

"Melissa…you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," I say softly.

"No…it's okay. It's all over the papers anyway. I guess you could say I kind of had an arranged marriage. My parents wanted me to marry Charles. He was old enough to be my father, but was only fifty-five when we got married. No one expected him to die so soon. He had a heart attack."

"I'm so sorry," I say reaching out to place a comforting hand on her arm.

"Thank you, that's very sweet," she replies. She looks away for a moment—staring out the window.

"If I tell you something—will you think it's stupid?" she says, not turning away from the window.

"_Mommy, if I tell you something—will you think it's stupid?" Lorelai asked lying on her bed. _

"_Certainly not" I replied, not looking up from my stichery. Richard was out of town on a business trip and Lorelai and I were spending an evening together in her room. _

"_I want to marry Chris Hayden," she said nonchalantly as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I put down my stitchery and come over to her, plopping down along side of her. I figured my seven year old picking out the man she wants to be with for the rest of her life, warrants my attention. _

"_So…you want to marry Christopher?" I said, trying not to make fun of her declaration. _

"_Yes…and he wants to marry me too. He told me so." _

"_Oh…really?" _

"_Yes. We're going to get married and live in a house next door." _

"_Next door?" _

"_Yes, to you and daddy. We're going to live next door forever." I smiled and kissed her on top of her head. _

"_Well, that is just fine by me Kiddo," I said. "Besides, you have a long time before you get married, a long time to do lots of wonderful things." _

"_Yes…I'll do lots of things…but then I'll get married to Chris and live next door and have a baby." _

"_A baby huh?" _

"_Yes" _

"_Boy or girl?" _

"_A girl" _

"_Oh, and what would you name this baby?" expecting some outlandish name—the kind seven year olds usually come up with when deciding what to name their children. _

"_Emily—I'll name her Emily" _

"Emily? Emily are you alright?" Melissa's voice drew me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry Dear, please, tell me anything you'd like. I won't think it's stupid." She looks at me with some trepidation.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this, I mean; you shouldn't have to listen to the life story of someone you just met. I just feel so lost here. I don't belong in Hartford. I want to go home. But my parents say I have responsibilities now. I am a Bates—I have to behave like a Bates. But the truth is, I never wanted to get married to Charles. I never wanted to be a widow. Now I have this large estate and a large empty house. I don't know the first thing about running an estate! Emily…I've heard so much about you. I've heard how much you give to charities and how many boards you sit on! I want to be like that, I want to do good with my money. Can you teach me how?"

"_Well Emily…hurry up, hurry up, I want to see my granddaughter before I go," _

"_I'm sure she'll be right down Mom," I said quietly. Why did I have to have this old witch for a mother-in-law? Why couldn't my five year old have a normal grandma? One that wouldn't scare the living daylights out of her?_

"_Lorelai! Lorelai it is the height of rudeness to keep a elder waiting!" Lorelai's namesake called. _

"_Here she is Trix" Richard called proudly as Lorelai descended down the staircase. She was wearing a satin dress with the new mary jane shoes Richard's mother brought her. She was walking down the stairs slowly, and I could see she was going through every thing I had told her about how she should present herself in her mind. She was doing very well!_

"_Hello Gran, how do you do?" she said, curtsying—oh I wanted to pick her up and hug her—she was perfect! _

"_Very well thank you Lorelai," Gran said and then motioned her to the couch. _

"_Now, tell me, what grade are you in school?" _

"_Kindergarten" _

"_And what are you learning in kindergarten?" _

"_ABC's, shapes, numbers," _

"_I see…and do you know how to add? Subtract? _

"_What?" _

'_Add and subtract numbers. All children your age should know that" _

_Red-alerts started sounding in my head. "Um…mom, Lorelai just started kinder.." _

"_What is eight plus seven?" she asked Lorelai abruptly cutting me off. _

"_Well?" she prodded when Lorelai looked at her dumbfounded. _

"_I don't know," she said helplessly. _

"_Four plus five…six plus eight…twelve take away eight," she rattled off, expecting a sharp quick answer. _

"_I don't know," Lorelai said again helpless. She looked at me and I made a move toward her, but was stopped by Richard's mothers glare. _

"_Well it's clear this child has more of your blood in her Emily. She is of less than average intelligence." _

"_Now Trix… that's not fair," Richard started in. His mother continued as if she didn't hear him. _

"_And what do you plan to do when grow up Lorelai? Where are you going to go to school? What will you do for an occupation? _

"_Mom…she's five," I cut in. _

"_Lorelai…what will you be when you grow up?" she continued without looking at me. I looked to Lorelai, hoping to give her some encouragement, but her eyes were resolute. _

"_I'm going to be Mommy," she said staring down Richard's mother. "I'm going to be like Mommy," My heart melts and before Richard's mother can pounce on her sweet response, I gather her in my arms. _

"_Time for bed, say goodnight to Gran." She says goodnight, and before Mom can say anything about how five-year-olds should not be carried, or how the nanny should be putting her to bed, I carry her out of the room. My sweet girl. _

"Emily? Emily, my goodness are you alright?" Melissa calls. I shake my head as if to shake myself out of my mind fog.

"I'm so sorry. I guess I'm still feeling a trifle ill."

"Do you need to go home?" Melissa asks.

"Yes, yes I think I will," I say standing up.

"I hope I didn't offend you, saying all those things. I just…" she starts and I turn around and look at her.

"…needed a friend?" I finish for her. She looks at me and she looks as if she's about to cry.

"Yes…yes I do." I smile at her and put my hand over hers.

"Well…you've got one," I reply, "How would you like to do this every Wednesday? After the DAR meeting? And we can talk about managing the affairs of your estate and anything else you want to talk about."

She smiles delightedly. "I would love that. You know, I never could talk to my mother about anything. I really appreciate this."

Oh Life is strange…so very strange.

I look at this girl and see my daughter—the Lorelai that could have been. Prim, proper, wanting to go to tea with me, a DAR board member, all the characteristics of a lady—but one who was widowed at thirty-seven, with no friends and family to support her. My daughter spit on everything I wanted for her—the elegant lifestyle, but at least she followed her heart. As much as I despised the man—at least she was with someone she loved.

"Alright then…next Wednesday it is," I say smiling. We start walking towards the door.

"One more thing…" she says as we come to the cars.

"Yes Melissa?" I ask.

"Missie—you wanted to know the real me, well I'm Missie. But nobody's called me that in years."

"See you next Wednesday Missie" I say as I climb into my car.


	9. Emily pulls a Mama Kim

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thanks for all who left feedback. I really appreciate it! As I said in the last chapter, my story has now taken on a life of it's own and has little bearing on what is or could be happening in the future on the show. It is still based on spoilers coming up though so the spoiler warning is still in effect!

"Emily, I'm serious! You look great!" Missie says as I walk out of the dressing room wearing the fourth outfit I have tried on.

"Are you sure?" I say, looking myself over in the mirror.

"Trust me!" she says enthusiastically. I look at her and we both start to giggle.

"Okay!" I say and go back into the dressing room. Moments later we are walking out of the store with a new dress added to our load of sacks.

The last three weeks have been the best I've had since the wedding. Suddenly I have a daughter again and I am remembering what it is like to have a friend, a companion to "hang out" with and do things with. Even on our good days Lorelai and I have not had this in years. I had forgotten what it was like. For the first time, I have had an inkling of what it must be like to be Lorelai and Rory.

"Where to next?" Missie asks.

"I don't know about you but I'm starving," I reply.

"Me too! Let's eat!"

"Where do you want to go?" I ask

"Let's just get something at the food court."

I stop in my tracks—the food court. The last time I was in that food court, I was there with Lorelai and Rory—and I had told Lorelai that I envied her life. I was so grateful that they were there. I had felt so alone. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with sadness. I miss my girl.

"Actually dear, I completely forgot Richard needed me home by three. There are some household accounts we need to go over," I say quickly. I can see the disappointment in her eyes and I feel bad. She has no husband to go home to.

"Okay…that's just fine,"

"Richard and I would love to have you for dinner tomorrow night though," I add quickly. She seems to brighten at that.

"Yes…I would love that," she replies.

"Good—we'll see you then," I say then we give each other a quick hug and head our separate ways to our cars.

I feel guilty—I feel guilty for having such a wonderful time with Missie. I feel guilty for sending Missie away. She is so lonely. She is such a wonderful woman. She makes me laugh so hard I start crying, and I feel safe around her—I can just be silly and not have to worry about what she thinks. We can talk about anything and everything. There's just one problem—she's not my Lorelai.

"_Mommy...Mommy wake up,"_

"_Wha…what's the matter Honey?" I awoke suddenly. Tears were slowly dripping down her cheeks. _

"_I had a bad dream," she replied, "Can I sleep with you?" _

_It was one of those times where my head said one thing and my heart screamed another. I wanted to hold her—sing her her song and sleep the rest of the night listening to her breathing next to me. But she was eight—and my head was saying that eight year olds were too old to sleep with their mommies—even after bad dreams. _

"_Lorelai, I want you to be a big girl and go back into your own room." _

"_But Mommy…" she cried imploringly—her lower lip starting to quiver. _

"_No buts Lorelai, you're a big girl. You go back to your room now," _

_She stood there looking at me for a moment and "the look" came back into her eyes—disappointment, disillusionment—betrayal._

"_Okay Mommy," she says quietly. She turns to leave and I reach out and catch her arm and turn her around._

"_Hey…"I say, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "I love you," _

_This time she just looks at me, for what seems like a long time and the look in her eyes frightens me. She turns back around and heads for the door. _

"_Goodnight Mom," she says quietly. _

_That was the beginning of the end. _

"Emily," Richard begins as he walks into the foyer tying his tie, "Don't you think it will be a little awkward for Rory to have Melissa here for dinner as well."

"Why on earth would it be awkward for Rory—she's my friend?" I ask as I help him with his tie.

"I don't know—it just seems a little odd, inviting this girl over for Friday night dinner. It kind of seems like we're replacing Lorelai,"

That struck a chord—was that what I was doing?

"Don't be ridiculous Richard," I say, trying to be sound confident, "The woman is my friend, she is lonely, I wanted to invite her for dinner—end of story."

"Whatever you say," he replies quietly.

The doorbell rings—displacing the awkward moment. It's Rory.

"Hi Grandma, Hi Grandpa!" she says smiling.

"Hi!" we both reply in unison.

"Richard why don't you bring Rory into the living room for a drink and I'll wait for our other guest," I say, to which Rory gives me a horrified look. I chuckle.

"Don't worry Dear, it's not a man," She smiles back and goes with Richard. Moments later the doorbell rings again.

"Hello Emily," Missie says smiling.

"Come in, come in" I say, "Let me take your coat."

"Richard and our granddaughter Rory are in the living room," I say putting my hand on her back and leading her into the living room.

"Richard—you know Mrs. Bates, and this is our granddaughter Rory. Rory, this is my good friend Mrs. Bates," I make the introductions. Rory stands up and extends her hand. She has a very strange look on her face—my guess is that she is as surprised and Lorelai and Missie's similarities as I was.

"Hello," Rory says cordially. "It's nice to meet you."

Missie smiles warmly, "The famous Rory. You're grandmother talks about you constantly. It's so nice to meet you."

Rory looks at me and I wink at her. "Alright, let's all have a drink."

The drinks go well—though Richard and Rory were a little awkward around Missie. I knew that Rory was probably thinking the same thing Richard was—that I was trying to replace Lorelai. I was almost relieved when Bianca came in and announced dinner.

"Alright, everyone. Let's eat." I say and we all head into the dining room.

"Why Emily, this looks lovely," Missie says.

I look over to Rory and notice she is giving me an angry glare. She points her eyes in the direction of Missie's place setting—in Lorelai's place. I shoot her back a "not now" glance and we all sit down. Suddenly I am feeling very unsettled—here we were on Friday night dinner and it did feel like I was trying to replace Lorelai.

I never even heard the doorbell ring. I always block it out during dinner. I never in my wildest imagination thought this would happen—of all the times for her to come.

"Um…gee, hi. Am I intruding on a family occasion here?" Lorelai said as she walked into the room.

"Lorelai!" I exclaimed, "What on earth are you doing here?"

She ignores me and walks over to Rory handing her some papers.

"You left these at the house, they're the ones that are due tomorrow right?" she says nonchalantly.

"Yes—thank you so much Mom."

Lorelai nods and then turns away. Missie stands up and extends her hand,

"Lorelai, it's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard so much about you."

Lorelai shoots me a look,

"Really? That's nice. Excuse me, I have to be going now," she says walking out of the room. Rory starts after her,

"Mom wait," she calls.

I put up my hand, "I'll go."

"Lorelai, Lorelai wait," I call as I follow her out the door.

"I don't have anything to say to you Mother," she responds. I reach out and catch her by the wrist.

"What is the matter with you?" I ask.

"Nothing…nothing at all."

"Tell me what the matter is," I insist. She gives a little sarcastic snort.

"It's not a big deal Mom, I just feel really stupid that's all,"

I stare at her incredulously.

"What is it?" I ask in. She turns around as if trying to gather herself, and then turns back around,

"I saw you at the mall Mom. I was in the store and I saw you with her. I watched you shop together and try on clothes and laugh and talk. And do you know what? I started to feel sad…I started missing you and thinking that maybe I was wrong to get so upset and I saw how you were with her and I wanted that so badly! So, I came here tonight because for the first time I wanted to come to Friday night dinner. I wanted to come and apologize to you and try to repair some of this relationship! And then I come in and find her here too—with my kid! What did you do Mom? Go down to the Daughter Factory and pick you up a replacement? I sure hope I was under warranty!"

"You are being completely ridiculous," I reply. She puts her hand up,

"Whatever Mom. You have what you always wanted now. I hope you'll be happy," she says.

"Lorelai…you don't understand." I start, but she brushes past me, gets in the car and drives away. I stand alone outside on the empty driveway.

I can't do anything right.

"_Emily…what are you doing?" Richard asked as I crept softly towards Lorelai's room. _

"_I just want to check on Lorelai," I replied. _

"_Emily, the girl is fourteen. She doesn't need you to tuck her in" he said condescendingly. _

"_I know, I know. I just haven't seen her all day what with all my meetings and the party. I just want to see her." _

_He shook his head and smiled at me. I opened the door carefully, the only sound in the room was the swishing of my party dress. I make my way over to the sleeping girl in the bed and ever so slightly reach down to kiss her goodnight. _

…_she isn't there. The lump in her bed is a bunch of pillows. _

"_Richard! Richard!" I scream. He bolts into the room and is at my side. _

"_What is it? What's wrong?" he yells fiercely. I throw back the covers and show him the pillows. _

"_She's not here! She's gone!" _

"_Emily, don't get hysterical. Maybe she's down in the kitchen getting something to eat." _

_Both of us run down the hall calling her name. There is no answer. _

"_What are we going to do?" I cried. Richard bolted towards the phone to call the police. _

"_This is Richard Gilmore, my daughter is missing, I need you to send someone immediately." He hung up the phone and put his strong arm around me. _

"_Richard…do you think someone has her? Do you think someone took for a ransom?" I felt like I was on the verge of fainting. It seemed like hours before I heard the policemen sirens in the back round. I was going over every scenario in my head—some deranged psychopath had the Gilmore daughter and was holding her for ransom. _

_Richard was pacing the floors, his coat on ready to go look for her. The door bell rang and we both sprang to our feet. The policeman started taking the report asking her name, age and other factors. _

"_You say the girl's fourteen. Do you think it's possible she snuck out?" _

"_Excuse me?" I said incredulously, "Lorelai would not sneak out. She is a good kid. I trust her." _

"_Are you sure?" the policemen asked again, "Do you know how many missing persons reports I get from first time parents when their kid sneaks out? Happens all the time" _

_Richard leans forward and grabs the man by the collar, _

"_Richard!" I cry out in warning. _

"_Look," Richard says, his voice raising, "My daughter is not some statistic. I don't care how many other people's children run away in the dead of night but our's did not. My daughter is smart and careful and she would never do such a thing. Now she is missing and if you won't do something about it, then I will!" he says dropping the man back down and then starting towards the door. He opened the door and there she was—unharmed, fully dressed and looking sheepishly up at us. _

"_Lori-Bug!" Richard breathed, the relief in his voice palpable. He hugged her to him feeling all over her for anything broken. _

"_Lorelai!" I cried out and ran to them, hugging her as well, "Are you alright?" _

"_Um…yeah. I'm fine" she said quietly. "What are you guys doing home so early?" _

_We both break away from her, staring at her. _

"_What do you mean?" Richard asks. She looks down at the ground. _

"_There was this party and…" _

_Richard shudders, and I put my hand over my mouth in utter surprise. _

"_Lorelai, get up to your room." Richard says, his voice thick with anger. She nods and walks away. _

"_I'm going for a walk Emily," Richard says quietly and walks down the driveway—the red and blue lights still swirling on the police cars reflect on his tired sagged shoulders. _


	10. Missie's Mia

Disclaimer: I own nothing here except part of the idea. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you for all your reviews. They are insightful and are most appreciated. Thank you for taking time to read my story!

I stand there in the driveway—not sure of why, I don't expect her to come back. I just stand there—shivering until finally I turn around and walk inside. I walk into the dining room where Richard, Rory, and Missie are uncomfortably finishing their dinner.

I put on a smile and walk into the room.

"Well, let's bring out dessert," I say nodding to the maids. Nobody says anything. We eat the rest of the meal in silence. Rory is up from the table as soon as she's done and bids us goodnight. I try to catch her eyes, to get some sense that she isn't furious with me again. I can tell she's upset, but she still gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"Goodnight Rory!" I call after her. I give a Richard a little look with my eyes to tell him to follow Rory and see if she's really okay. He catches the look and leaves. There are a few moments of awkward silence between Missie and I.

"Emily...?" she begins after a moment. "Are you okay?" I turn to look at her, and start to give my usual response of, "Oh yes, I'm just fine," but she looks so sincere, so open to hear my feelings. I shake my head.

"No...no I'm not," I reply. "You can probably guess my daughter and I don't get along very well." She sighed,

"I know what that feels like, my mother and I never saw eye to eye on anything. I feel like I've tried most of my life to please her."

"Is that the only reason why you married Charles?" I asked, worried I was asking a too personal question. She nodded,

"Yes, I wasn't in love with him. I wanted to make my parents happy and pleased with me and I figured this would be the way to do it," she paused for a moment as if considering something. "Charlie did have something to offer me though. I have always loved pretty things—ever since I was a little girl. I always wanted the fancy china dolls with the lacy dresses and accessories too extravagant for a normal little girl let alone a doll. I love the ballet and the opera, the symphony. I love class and elegance. That was the appeal I saw in Charles' money. A chance to have the things I loved and have them away from parents. I never loved Charles, but he was a good man and he always took care of me."

I sensed there was more she wanted to tell me, more she needed to tell me and selfishly it was nice to have the focus on her problems and not my own. She looked over at me, and started to tear up.

"Shortly after Charles died, a woman came over to the house to offer her condolences. I didn't know who she was. I assumed she was an acquaintance with Charles. She told me she wanted to be my friend. We started to do things together, go out to lunch and stuff like that. I was so excited. I wanted a buddy so badly. I started opening up to her, telling her things that I told you and she was always very sympathetic. Then one day I called her and there was no answer. I kept calling and calling and then I called her landlady and she said she had left. The next week it was all over the sensationalist papers—"The Bates Black Widow." I read the column and saw direct quotes that I had told my friend. I tried to find her, I thought she was a reporter and so I tried to find out who she worked for, but nobody had heard of her. She probably changed her name or was an informant or something—but I never saw her again."

I feel sick, "That's terrible!" I breathe.

She smiles, "Yeah—it was hard. I was very embarrassed and wanted to tuck my head between my legs and run home. But my mom wouldn't hear of it. She wouldn't let me come," She pauses for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts.

"You know something though, in a way the press helped me to realize how selfish I was when I married Charles. I was still a little girl wanting my toys and he gave them to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be a widow after being married for seven years. I never dreamed I would be in charge of an estate. Now I just want to do some good with my money. I want to do good for the world."

I put a hand over hers and give it a squeeze. "That is a noble goal," I say smiling. She smiles back and gives me a hug.

"Emily...I don't want to pry, but I noticed Lorelai seemed upset tonight. I hope that didn't have anything to do with me,"

"No dear, it was me. This used to be our Family night. Lorelai and Rory would come over every Friday night and have dinner. Lorelai doesn't come any more. She barely even speaks to me. She came tonight and..."

"...thought she'd been replaced?" Missie finished.

I nodded.

"Oh...I'm sorry," she whispered. I put my arm around her.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry about—nothing at all." I reply. She seems to feel a little better and stands up.

"I better go," she says. I walk with her to the door. She turns around and gives me a hug.

"Emily...I'm sorry about Lorelai. But I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I could never talk to my mom like this. It means so much to me. I don't want to upset Lorelai, but I hope we can still be friends," she says. She looks so vulnerable, so lonely and my heart just goes out to her.

"Of course we can," I say, hugging her to me. She smiles and walks out the door and I find myself standing there waving goodbye until her car is out of site.

I walk back inside and slowly upstairs. I don't know what happened to Richard, if he was off talking to Rory somewhere or in his study working. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. I lay down on the bed, both Lorelai and Missie's conversations running through my mind and weighing on my heart. One I have known for a month, who shares secrets with me, and wants my friendship—needs my friendship, the other I gave birth too and have loved since the moment she was placed in my arms, the one who doesn't want anything to do with me. A deep sadness settles over me, and I have to ask myself, how can I mean so much to another woman's child—but fail with my own?

A realization hits me—this time I am Mia. I am Missie's Mia.

"_Emily, Emily it's noon. Please get up," Richard's voice resounded somewhere in the back of my head. A painful sensation hit my eyes as he opened the curtains. "Come on Honey," he said, "Let's get out of bed and get some breakfast." _

"_No," I whisper, my tears resurfacing. I grab for some more tissues by the bed. Richard came and sat down next to me. _

"_Honey...you can't let this destroy you, life has to go on," _

_I give a little sob, "Richard, my baby's gone. She's gone. We don't even know where she is. She could be on the other side of the country by now. She hasn't even called..." sobs take over me once again, "Why hasn't she called?" He lays down and takes me in his arms, stroking my hair away from my forehead. I cling to him, as if he is the last thing I have that is keeping me from the dark abyss that hangs over me. _

"_She'll be okay," he said, in a shaky voice. "She's a smart girl, and she knows how to take care of herself. She's a hard worker and she knows how to do what she needs to do. She'll call Honey. I know she will." He kissed me, and I laid back down on the bed. I was afraid to sleep—afraid the dream would come, but I longed for sleep as well. Eventually it over took me and in between one of the moments of sleep and awake, I heard Richard talking outside of the room—but to who? ...it was Dr. Reynolds_

"_Joshua, I don't know what to do. She won't get out of bed. It's been a week and we still haven't heard from Lorelai. We don't know where she is. I just...I can't..." Richard's voice grew thick with emotion. "What do I do Joshua?" he asked. There was a long pause. _

"_Richard, you were not there when Lorelai came into the world. I placed that baby in Emily's arms and watched Lorelai's first few minutes of life. I saw the connection the two of them had. Now, I know it hasn't been perfect, and the two of them have fought practically from that first day. But no matter what—that connection is still there. They can't run away from it, they can't break it. They need each other. Emily needs Lorelai and one day in time, Lorelai will know how much she needs Emily. You want to know how to help your wife?—find your daughter. Even if she won't come home—find her. Emily needs to hear her voice, to hear she is okay." _

_I drifted back to sleep, and the dream relinquished its hold on me. It was the first real sleep I'd had in a week. It was such a deep sleep that I was not sure whether the phone ringing was in my dreams or really real. It took me a few minutes to realize it was really ringing. I woke up with a start and grabbed the phone next to the bed, _

"_Lorelai?" I cried. There was a long pause. "Lorelai...please talk to me," I pleaded with her. Another long pause, "Please...Lorelai...please tell me where you are." I pleaded again, trying to control my emotions. _

"_...Hello?" a woman's voice came on the other end of the phone. My heart sank. It wasn't her. I almost just hung up the phone, but I answered back. _

"_Hello," I answered back. _

"_Is this Emily?" the voice asked. _

"_Yes, this is Emily Gilmore," I replied. There was another pause. _

"_Emily, my name is Amelia Moore. My friends call me Mia. I run the Independence Inn in Stars Hollow—about thirty minutes from you." _

_I am growing impatient—if this is a solicitation! _

"_I just wanted you to know that your daughter is here." _

_My heart jumped into my throat and my tears starting overflowing again. She was thirty minutes away! _

"_What?" I cried, "Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" _

"_Yes, she is fine and the baby is fine. I offered Lorelai a job." the woman had an incredibly calming voice. _

"_Please...let me talk to her" I pleaded. _

"_She doesn't want to talk to you yet. She just wanted me to call you and tell you she was safe." _

"_Please...just put her on the phone. I want to talk to her," I asked again. There was a brief pause and finally I heard her voice. _

"_Hello Mother," she said, "I don't want to talk right now." she said. I started to say it, started to say that she was the most important thing in the world to me and that I loved her more than anything and that if she came home I would be whatever she wanted—be the kind of mother she had wanted and needed. I wanted to tell her that I would do whatever it took. But the words wouldn't come._

'_Lorelai—come home." I whispered hoarsely. There was a long pause. _

"_I can't Mom. That is not my home anymore. I need to be on my own. Rory and I need to be on our own." _

"_Lorelai...please..." I pleaded but it was the woman's voice that answered. _

"_Emily, I know how hard this must be for you. Trust me, I will take care of her and watch out for her. I'll take care of both of them." _

"_But..." I began. She cut me off. _

"_I promise—I'll take care of them and I will encourage her to call." The next thing I knew I was listening to a dial tone. I dropped the receiver on the ground and started sobbing. Richard came running into the room. _

"_What...what is it?" he asked anxiously. I covered my face with my hands. _

"_She's okay" I cried out. "She's okay." _

_He took me in his arms and rocked me back and forth—the only sound in the room being the off the hook warning beep from the receiver on the floor_


	11. The Unexpected Visitor

Disclaimer: I own nothing when it comes to Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: Thank you to all who have read and responded. It means a lot to me. This part of the story is not based on any spoilers, just my own musings coming from where this particular story has headed. I would love your comments on what you think!

As long as I live, I will never forget this night. Of all the people in the world I expected to see at my doorstep—I never in my wildest dreams imagined he would come. It was a stormy night—Richard was off meeting with a client, and I was going over some household accounts. The doorbell rang and as I knew Felisa was in the kitchen, I went to get it myself. I opened the door and there he was, standing there on my doorstep. It took me a moment to get over the shock.

"Luke...what are you doing here?" I asked.

He looked at me, and I could see in his eyes that he was hesitating—he looked like he was ready to turn around and walk the other way.

"Hello Mrs. Gilmore...I need to talk to you,"

Something inside of me bristled. If he was here to lecture me about staying out his and Lorelai's business or something like that...I was in no mood. I start to close the door,

"I'm sorry Luke, I am busy and if I'm not mistaken, this is enemy territory for you." I say but he reaches out and stops the door from shutting. His eyes are firm and resolute, "Seriously," he says, "We need to talk."

Suddenly a jolt of fear surges through me, "Lorelai..." I breathed, "Has something happened to her?" He shakes his head, "No, Lorelai is just fine. She doesn't know that I'm here. If she did I can guess I would be in the dog house tonight." I look at him, searching his face. Why was he here? He seemed to see I was sizing him up. He cleared his throat.

"Emily...I just want to talk." he says again. Without saying anything I motion for him to come in.

"Can I get you a drink?" I ask and he shakes his head no. I fix myself one, something to hold onto to hide my nervousness. It isn't working. I come and sit down, trying to look calm and collected.

"What can I do for you Luke?" I ask. Again he looks hesitant. Then he takes a deep breath and begins,

"What you and Lorelai are doing here is wrong," he says resolutely. It takes me completely by suprise.

"Excuse me?"

"Emily, what you and Lorelai are doing here is wrong," he repeats. "I'll be honest, I still don't like you very much. But to be totally honest, I don't really know you. I know you don't like me and I know you don't approve of me, and you know what, that's okay because I like the way I am and I am in love with your daughter and as long as she and I are together, I'm happy."

I opened my mouth to say something but he put up his hand,

"You know something? I would really like to get to know the mother of the woman I love. I would like to get to know the real Emily Gilmore and I hope that someday you want to know the real Luke Danes. But today, let me tell you what I came here to say. Whatever your differences, whatever it is you two have been fighting about since day one, it is time to put it behind you. It's time to forgive eachother and move on with your lives. Lorelai says she is happy. She says she doesn't need you in her life. I even told you she doesn't need you in her life. But that's not true. She does need you and you need her." I stare down at the floor and curse myself that the tears are starting to surface again. I look up at him, this man who I have demeaned, thought down upon and even ridiculed because of his social stature. What a fool I am. What a blind fool.

"So...what do I do?" I ask, not caring that I sound vulnerable, not caring that he is seeing my open display of emotion. He wants to know the real Emily Gilmore? So I will let him see her—a mother who knows she has failed her child and will do anything...anything to get her back. He sighed,

"I don't know. She is pretty hurt and I think she is embarrassed and feels guilty for the article as well. She never wanted it to go in the magazine Emily. She just started talking and got carried away, She tried everything to keep it out of the actual article. She felt terrible when it came out. I tried to talk to her, tried to get her to come over here again. But she is so stubborn—one of the things I love about her. I think we all know where that comes from." he says smiling. I smile back at him. He stands up to leave.

"Anyway...that's all I wanted to say. Take it or leave it. " He gets up to leave and I call after him.

"Luke?"

He turns back around,

"Yes?"

"Why are you doing this?" I ask.

"Because one day I came home from school and saw my dad home in the middle of the day. That had never happened before and he looked like he'd been crying. I asked him what was the matter and he said we'd wait for my sister to get home and then tell the two of us together. I waited for Liz to come home and then my dad sat us down together and told us that our mom was very sick—she had cancer and was in the hospital. One day my mom was there in our house and cooking us breakfast, correcting our homework—and the next day she was in the hospital. She died six months later." he pauses for a second and takes a deep breath. "See, I had a mom that tried to protect her children too. She did what she thought was best for them. She didn't tell us she was sick. She had known for a year that she had cancer and had known for a few months that she wasn't going to beat it. But she never told us. I of all people know that Lorelai is fooling herself if she thinks she can cut you out of her life completely. She needs you. Everyone needs their mom."

I swallow to try and keep from crying. He puts up his hand and gives a little wave goodbye.

"Luke?" I call again. He turns around.

"I've misjudged you and again I'm really sorry."

"It's okay" he says giving me a little smile.

"What was her name...your mother?"

"Alicia, Alicia Danes," he replies

"She would have been proud of you," I say.

He smiles,

"Goodnight Emily," he says as he walks out the door.

My mind is reeling. I walk toward the phone on the coffee table. I am so nervous—why am I so nervous? Because I want to tell her that I love her. I want to tell her that I'm sorry and tell her all of the things that have been in my heart for so long. But I have not been able to tell her what's on my heart since she was seven years old. We have grown so far apart—so different. Was it too late? I pick up the phone and dial the number. My hands are shaking, "Please," I pray, "Please please please let her talk to me."

The phone picks up and my heart starts beating wildly.

"Hello?" she says. I try to speak but the words won't come out.

"Hello?" she says again.

"Lorelai? It's me" I say. A disheartening click resounds in my ear and the next thing I hear is dial tone.

This isn't going to be easy.


	12. Emily's Heartache

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who have read and responded. I REALLY appreciate it. Your comments really help me grow as a writer. Hope you enjoy this next segment!

Somehow I feel like I am being liberated and sentenced to death and the same time. Part of me is glad the ride to Star's Hollow is thirty minutes, gives me time to think, go over in my mind what I want to say. Part of me is so nervous that I just wish I could get this over with. Why am I so nervous? Why can't I just relax? She's my daughter for Heaven's sake! Why do I feel so uptight? The Star's Hollow comes up and there is a part of me that just wants to get off and turn right around again. But I can see the lights of the town, and I pick a spot trying to focus all my energy on it. I can do this. I can do this.

I drive past the old Independence Inn and remember the night of the fire. I never told Lorelai that one of the wives of the firemen was daughter to a friend of mine. The daughter called her up, and my friend called me up to tell me that the inn was on fire. I never told Lorelai how I called her house repeatedly to see if she was alright that night, and then got so scared that she had been working a late night shift that I actually got in my car and drove—in the middle of the night to Stars Hollow. The fire was out by then, and I parked across the street and watched until I saw her. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when I saw her—comforting the guests, giving orders. I was in awe at how calm and collected she was. I was so proud.

This inn does not hold happy memories for me—for it will always be the place she chose over her own home. It will always serve as a reminder to me of what Rory's early memories of us consist of—awkward visits in the hotel lobby. It will always serve as a reminder of my failure.

My nervousness grows as I turn down the street to her house. What do I say? What if she slams the door in my face? I pull into her driveway and breathe deeply. There is another car in the driveway—it's not Rory's, and it's not Luke's truck, I wonder whose it is. "Okay, breathe just breathe," I say to myself. I take another deep breath trying to steady myself before I go in.

"_Mommy? Mommy are you having a heartache?" Lorelai's voice turned me away from the mirror. She was standing at the door, wearing the plastic stethoscope from the doctor's kit Richard had bought home from her on his last trip. _

"_What?" I asked. _

"_Are you having a heartache? You was breathing really funny…" She paused and adopted the most professional look she could muster, "That's one of the signs you know," she says, waving her index finger at me. I am trying so hard to not burst out laughing. _

"_You "were" breathing funny Sweetheart, not you "was"" I correct her. _

"_No Mommy, I wasn't breathing funny, you was," she replies. _

_I shake my head, _

"_Do you want me to zamin you?" she asked. I quickly checked the clock on the wall. Fifteen minutes before Richard would start nagging me about leaving—I had a few minutes. _

"_Okay…you zamin me," I replied. She rolled up her sleeves and picked up the little doctors bag that lay at her feet. _

"_First I have to listen to your heart," she says, and puts the stethoscope over the opposite side of my chest. _

"_Hmm…" she says. I try to look worried, _

"_What does that mean?" I ask. She shakes her head gravely. _

"_It doesn't look good," she says shaking her head. I place my hand over my heart. _

"_Oh no, what do I do Dr. Gilmore?" I ask. Her darling four year old hand reaches out and pats mind. _

"_I have just the thing," she says. She reaches into her bag and pulls out an orange tootsie roll pop. She opens my hand and places the tootsie roll pop in it. _

"_You take that and call me in the morning," she says. My fingers close around the tootsie roll pop—if only life was this easy! _

"_Thank you very much Dr. Gilmore," I say as she walks from the room. I turn back and face the mirror. Richard's mother is in town and wants us to go out to dinner with her. Everything in the mirror looks wrong—I am not good enough. I am not good enough to be a Gilmore, to be married to Richard, or to be the mother of his child. My hands start to shake again. I pick up my powder and it slides right out of my hand. _

"_Mommy?" Lorelai calls. I didn't realize she is still in the room. _

"_Yes Sweetie?" _

"_Are you still having a heartache?" she asks. I turn to look at her. She is looking at me with apprehension—as if she doesn't know what to do. _

"_I'm fine," I say to her, putting on a smile. "I'm just fine." She looks at me incredulously for a moment, then puts one hand on her hip and waves the index finger at me again. _

"_You never lie to the doctor young lady!" she says and the next thing I know, she is running to me, climbing up on my lap, kissing my cheek and throwing her arms around me. I cling to her—this little person who I never have to impress, never have to pretend with. I rock her in my arms for a few minutes and then she breaks free. She looks me in the eyes. _

"_Did I make your heartache go away?" she asks. _

"_Yes Baby…you made my heartache go away," I reply. _

"_That's good!" she says then bounces off my lap and runs out of the room. _

"_I'll send you my bill!" she calls. _

I almost turned back five times on the way up to the door. "Ring the bell—just ring it Emily," I say to myself. I ring it—there is no turning back now. "Please…please," I pray as I hear footsteps coming to the door. She opens it and tries to mask her surprise really quick.

"What are you doing here?" she asks. I try to steady myself.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask pensively. She seems to be staring me down and then very looking very reluctant she says, "Alright."

She opens the door for me to come in. I can hear a movie going in the background and see a very pregnant Sookie on the couch.

"Emily!" Sookie says, "How are you?" I smile at her, "I'm fine Sookie, how are you? When are you due?" Sookie is about ready to answer when Lorelai steps in.

"She's due in a few weeks Mom," she answers then turns to Sookie, "Hey, can you give us a minute, this won't take long."

Sookie nods and heads out of the room.

"What do you want?" she asks impatiently. I find myself getting a little annoyed. Couldn't she just listen for a moment.

"I just wanted to talk." I replied. She shrugs, "So, talk I've got things to do."

I start to say it—the words are right there, but she isn't paying attention to me. How can I tell her what I came to say if she isn't willing to really listen? My annoyance is growing. What am I doing here? This is futile. She won't listen to me.

"Do you think," I begin, "That you could even pretend to care about what I have to say? Could you just listen?"

"Mom, Sookie and I are in a middle of a movie, if there is something you want to say to me say it," she replies.

Now I am getting angry,

"Lorelai, if I was Rory, or Luke, or Sookie or Michel, If I was your father for goodness sakes, and they said they wanted to talk to you…would you just brush them off like this? What is it with me? Why can't you just listen to me?"

She shakes her head, "You are being ridiculous. Why don't you say what you came to say and get it over with?"

Alright—two can play at the stubborn game.

"No—I want you to sit down and treat me with some respect. I want you to listen to what I have to say. Even if you have no respect for me as your mother, give me the respect you would give a fellow human being. I have something important to tell you."

She turns to me, and exaggeratedly says, "Which is?"

She's here, she's right here and I can say it to her—I can tell her what is in my heart and let her decide what to do with it. But it seems like I'm the only one trying here. I look at her, searching her eyes.

"Lorelai, do you want us to be okay? Do you want us to have any semblance of a relationship? Do you even care? It feels like I'm the only one who does here. It feels like I'm the only one that puts any effort into this relationship."

She shakes her head, "You have got to be kidding me!" she says. "You are the one that tries in this relationship? What about me? I feel like that is all I've done all my life is try to have a relationship with you. I'm the only one that tries here!" she says.

"Oh yeah…getting pregnant, running away from home, yeah, I must have missed the memo on how that was supposed to build our relationship!" I retort.

She brings her hands to her face and shakes her head, "That was twenty years ago Mother! I've been trying! Ever since Rory started Chilton, I've been trying!"

"When? When have you tried?" I asked. She started listing off examples, "the trip to the spa, Friday night dinners even when I didn't want to, your bachelorette party!"

"You're not seriously going to put my bachelorette party on your list of daughterly good deeds are you?" I retorted. "Do you think I'm that stupid? I came over here that night because I wanted to spend time with you and Rory. I wanted to calm my nerves and have a girl's night. You treated me like an inconvenience from the moment I walked in the door, and don't you think I know your father called? So, you get me so drunk I can't see straight, and call a bunch of women out of bed who could care less about me, and call that one of your shining daughter moments?"

"You know what…I'm not in the mood for this right now," she says, "You know what your problem is? You don't care about anybody that doesn't fit into your description of how someone should be. You'll care about someone as long as they walk and talk and do exactly what you want them to and if they don't, you drop them."

It's then that it hits me…she's right. That's the way I treated her when she started growing up and away from me. There was something else that she doesn't get though—the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I start walking towards the door, I turn around to look at her,

"You're right Lorelai, you're exactly right…and do you know what else?" I spread my arms out and in a sweeping gesture point to myself.

"Look at yourself in the mirror my girl," I say and then I walk out the door. I get in the car and make it half way down the next block before I pull over to the side, putting my head on the steering wheel and burst into tears.

I think I'm having a heartache.

Author's Note: More is coming soon—things will get better!


	13. The Ultimatum

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I appreciate your comments. Sorry about the longer update this time, my life has been pretty crazy lately.

"Sandra—say that one more time—and slowly," I say to the high-pitched woman on the other line.

"You are being chosen as the DAR woman of the month Emily! The ladies at the DAR are going to take you out somewhere special for our meeting this week."

"Sandra, when have we ever had a DAR woman of the month?" I ask incredulously.

"Since now... you are the first! Now I don't want to hear any more about it. We will be there at three o'clock to kidnap you and take you out."

"Alright, alright, I'll be here," I say and then hang up the phone.

I look up at the clock, it's almost noon. Part of me is frustrated, there was a lot of work we planned to get done today and the meeting. Part of me—though I would never admit it, is tickled to death—DAR woman of the month, not bad. At least it proved in my mind once and for all, that Lorelai's little article in the magazine hadn't damaged my reputation—unless the ladies were patronizing me.

Whatever the reason, I will just enjoy it. I walk upstairs to change my clothes and do my hair. The door to Lorelai's room is open—the maid must be dusting it. I walk past the room and see her closet opened—and the shimmering white debutante dress hung there—where it has always hung, except when the one it was meant for's daughter tried to fulfill my dreams and wore it at her own debutante ball. It's amazing to me how it has been able to stay so white after all these years. We had to take it to the cleaners when Rory wore it, it had turned slightly yellow, but not too bad. The cleaners had it a sparkling white, it was as beautiful as the day I had taken it out of the box.

"_Lorelai? Lorelai open the door, the new dress is here!" I called, trying once again to outdo the music. _

"_Mom I really don't feel like trying it on right now!" she called back. _

"_Nonsense, it's just beautiful, even more than the last dress. Open up and see." _

"_No, I don't feel like it!" she yelled. My heart sunk. I had wanted her to be excited about this with me. I had waited and waited for her coming out ball and I wanted her to share it with me. I felt insanely jealous of all the other mothers, who had daughters who went shopping with them for pantyhose and pearls. When I had gone to the dress shop to pick up the dress there was a mother and daughter there—the daughter was trying on dresses and she would come out and twirl around for her mother and then the two would giggle—just like sisters, best friends—Why couldn't I have that? _

"_Lorelai, I'm coming in" I called and despite her protests, I came in the room and flipped off the radio. _

"_Now, I'm sure that once you see this dress..." I stopped as I looked at her. _

_She was lying on the bed, almost in a fetal position, looking very ill. I laid the dress in the chair and hurried over to her bedside. _

"_What's wrong? Are you sick?" I asked anxiously. _

"_It's nothing Mom," she said weakly, "Please, just go away." _

"_Don't be ridiculous! You're sick, I'm calling Joshua." _

"_No Mom! Please! Don't call Dr. Reynolds. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow!" she cried out and then added as if noticing my surprise at her protest to call the doctor, "It's probably just one of those twenty-four hour things." I felt her forehead, and she didn't feel warm. _

"_Alright, I'll leave you alone. I'll just go down to the kitchen and make you a mashed banana on toast." She suddenly looked very green, and grabbed for a mop bucket she had apparently confiscated and threw up. I reached for her, wanting to comfort her—she was always terrified of throwing up when she was a child. _

"_Just go Mom" she said, after she was through. Masking hurt with anger and withdrawal had become either a disease or refined skill with me. _

"_Fine—don't forget you have a portrait session today at five. I expect you dressed and downstairs by four-thirty." _

"_Whatever," she replied. _

The doorbell rang and I debated for a moment whether I should answer it myself or have one of the maids get it.

"Maritza! Get the door please!" I call. I am standing at the top of the stairs, when I hear all of them come in, "Okay Emily!' they call! "Get down here!" I walk down the stairs as ladylike and refined as I possibly can—trying not to hide my excitement. I turn to look at Missie and she is smiling, I give her a quick wink.

"Thank you all!" I say graciously. "Thank you all for this wonderful honor!" Sandra approaches me.

"Alright, Emily." she brings out a scarf. "We want this to be a total surprise," she says and places the scarf over my eyes.

"Sandra! This is ridiculous!" I protest, but am kind of enjoying the espionage. They take me in the car, and Sandra calls from the front seat.

'Alright, Emily just sit back and relax. Kathryn is in the back seat with you as well as Melissa." From the right of me, I feel an encouraging pat on my arm.

"Missie?" I whisper.

"Just relax Emily. This will be a DAR function you'll never forget."

"I feel like a sorority girl—please tell me we are not going to a pub."

"Nope," she says chuckling. "No pubs,"

The car starts, and I am forced to wait and wonder here in the dark.

"_Mom? Dad?" she called and we both turned at the same time and looked at her. It was so rare that she was even home in the evenings anymore with all the extra-curricular school things she had taken on. When she was home, she was up in her room. When she called our names, there was a little glimmer of hope that she had wanted to spend time with us—the hope died when I saw Christopher was with her. _

'_Good evening Lorelai, Christopher, would you like to come in, sit down with us?" I asked, as if they were some houseguests. _

"_We need to talk to you," she said and it was the tone in her voice that caused me to sit down again and Richard to put down his paper. _

"_Come in, have a seat," I said, again falling into my "gracious host" role. They came in holding hands, both of them looking small, like they did when they were seven and Lorelai had proclaimed she wanted to marry Christopher—live next door—and have a baby—named Emily. _

_There was something in her eyes. Something that made me cross over to the other side of the room and sit next to Richard. _

"_Mom, Dad, there is no easy way to say this. I've been trying to think of one, but I guess I'll just come out with it. Chris and I went to the doctor's today." _

_Pain and Panic shot through me at the same time...she took Christopher with her to the doctor? Christopher instead of me? And what did they have to tell us? Was there something wrong with her? I tried to cover my anxiety the best I could. _

"_And?" I asked, the anxiety creeping into my voice. She looked down at the floor, and I saw Christopher give her hand an encouraging squeeze. _

"_Mom...he confirmed what I've known for a month...the first debutante dress, there was nothing wrong with the dress...it was me," _

_It took me a minute to register what she was saying...what did she mean? Then the pieces started falling together—the too-small dress, the sickness—Oh no, please God no. _

"_I'm pregnant" she said as if sensing my thoughts and confirming them. Richard sighed heavily and looked away. I was lost in a mix of emotions—she was pregnant, my baby, my angel child, the one I had prayed for for so long—she was pregnant. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening! I turned and looked at her_

"_How far along are you?" I asked, barely even able to choke out the words. _

"_Three months," she replied. "Chris and I have been talking and making some plans. We are under no circumstances going to abort this baby—no matter what you or Straub and Francine think," _

_I felt a new wave of pain rip through me, Is that what she thinks of me? That I would make her abort the baby? _

"_Adoption is not an option either," she stated firmly. "I am going to quit school, and raise our child on my own." she stated firmly. Richard looked like he was having trouble breathing. He stood up, and walked out of the room, mumbling something about calls to make. Lorelai watched him go—looking smart alecy about his leaving, but I did know her better than that. I could see the hurt behind her eyes. I was speechless, absolutely dumbfounded. _

"_Christopher...go home. Lorelai...go up to your room, we will discuss this later." _

_They walked out together—holding hands. I watched them leave, a wave of emotions flowing over me. Shock, disappointment, anger, and a deep sense of loss and failure. I watched the outline of Lorelai walk slowly up the stairs in the shadows. What had happened? Where had I gone wrong? Whatever happened to my little girl? my angel? my little friend who at one time wanted to be like her mommy? Was it my fault? Had I driven her to this? _

_I never did go up that night—I just went to bed. Richard came in hours later, having shut himself up in his study. That was the role he had taken on as a parent—the silent one, the withdrawn one, sometimes I wondered if Lorelai would rather have him yell and scream at her—just once. At least that would prove that he still gives a care. But I was the one that got mad, the manipulator, the nagger—that was my role. We didn't talk about the pregnancy. I just heard him sigh heavily and then roll over on his side and go to sleep. _

"Will someone please tell me where we are going?" I call out but only got laughs in response. It feels like we had been driving for hours. Suddenly the car stops, and I feel Missie guiding me. I try to distinguish where we are—I have no idea.

"Okay...step up here," Missie says. I step up,

"Can I take the blind fold off now?" I ask.

"Not yet," the chorus of ladies respond. I am inside now, walking where they tell me to walk—suddenly I realize I am in a kitchen—what in the world is going on here? There is a voice whispering,

"In there, right in there." I can barely make it out—I am trying to place the voice and then it hits me—Sookie.

"Wait a minute, are we at the Dragonfly?" I ask. Before that question can be answered, I hear a door open, and a light chain pull.

"There's plenty of room," I hear Sookie whisper.

"Someone tell me what is going on!" I demand. I feel a hand in my hand giving it a squeeze.

"Emily...you're my friend, and I love you. Remember that...and please be quiet." Missie says. The blindfold is removed, and I find myself in a large pantry.

"Missie! Melissa Bates this is not funny!" I call out. I hear a bang on the door and Sookie's voice.

"Emily, please...please be quiet."

Suddenly I hear Lorelai's voice, "Sook, there was nothing going on in the barn. The horses are just fine."

"That's great Honey, must have just been my imagination. Hey, would you mind grabbing me some cinnamon from the pantry? I'm a little tied up here."

"Sure" she says and the door opens.

"Mom?" she says. "What...?" and then suddenly she is shoved into the pantry as well and the sound of a key turns in the lock.

"Sookie? Sookie? What is going on here? Sookie this is so not funny! Sookie! If this is your idea of a sick joke..." but there was no reply. She turned to look at me.

"I'm as surprised as you are." She snickers, "Right"

"I had nothing to do with this!" I defensively cried out.

Suddenly a sheet of paper slid underneath the door, Lorelai picked it up we both read it.

Dear Emily and Lorelai,

We as your friends and family would like to tell you that we love you but that

we think you are both being pig-headed and stubborn. Neither of you knows

how to communicate your feelings to the other, and so we have decided to help

you. We will not let you out of the pantry until you talk to each other and tell

each other how you feel. We are not asking you to become best friends, we are

asking you to talk to each other. We know how precious life is and we don't

want you to spend one more minute of it hating each other. We will not let you

out until you talk.

Your Friends and Family,

Rory Gilmore, Richard Gilmore

Missie Bates, Michel Girard

Luke Danes, Sookie St. James

and the ladies of the DAR.

We finish the note, and after a moment we look at each other.

"Well, this is going to be fun," Lorelai snickers as she sits down on a bucket full of flour.

"This wasn't my idea you know," I retort.

"Whatever,"

"Grow up!"

"You first"

It's gonna be a long night.


	14. Emily's Regret and Lorelai's Lie

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who have left their reviews. As this story comes to an end (there is this chapter left and an epilogue) I just want to thank all of you for making me feel so welcome as I made my first venture into the world of Gilmore Girls fan fiction. There will be more to come!

We sit in silence–her on a barrel of flour and me on a barrel of sugar. The words were there, "on the tip of my tongue," as the saying goes, but I couldn't bring myself to say them. Silence had become part of the language of our relationship–if we weren't silent to each other, we were fighting with each other. It had been that way for what seemed like forever.

"So...how did they get you here anyway?" Lorelai asked suddenly breaking the silence. "It's Friday, you don't even have DAR functions on Friday."

I gave a sarcastic little laugh, "They cancelled it on Wednesday. They told me they had something special planned for Friday, and then Sandra called me up this morning and told me I had been chosen for the DAR woman of the month. They said they were going to take me out somewhere fancy for lunch, they blindfolded me, and then the next thing I know I'm being shoved in your pantry."

"This is absolutely crazy," Lorelai said shaking her head. "I mean, locking us up in a pantry and forcing us to talk like we are two year olds. This is crazy."

"I agree," I replied

"Completely crazy"

"Yes it is,"

"I mean, telling us that we can't come out until we talk,"

"Ludicrous"

The silence returns and we both turn away from each other–as if we are just biding our time until they realize that it is hopeless–until they realize that this is what we do, Lorelai and I–until they realize that things are never going to change.

"But I want things to change!" I suddenly yell, standing up and the suprised look on Lorelai's face can't hold a candle to my own surprise at my outburst. "I don't want to be like this anymore! I'm sorry alright! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I invited Christopher to the wedding, I'm sorry I tried to break up you and Luke, I'm sorry that I didn't say I'm sorry before! I messed up! I made a mistake! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried out louder and then as quickly as the outburst started, it ended and I sat back down, amazed at what had just happened.

"Mom..."she said after a few minutes. "You didn't break us up."

I looked over at her in confusion.

"We did that. You may have been a contributing factor, but we broke ourselves up." She snickered, "It seems like since I was a little girl I've been trying to prove my independence, prove I was an adult. Well, I am an adult, and adults don't blame their meddling mommies for the consequences of their actions. That's what I was doing–that's what I've always done–blamed you. If I couldn't trace something I did back to you to blame you somehow, then I blamed you for raising me, justified myself in thinking that I had the most controlling mother in the world and that's the reason I act the way I do. I shouldn't have kept it from him that I went over to Christopher's house that night. I probably gave Chris the wrong idea too–thinking there was a chance after that night. He probably believed you when you told him he had a chance because of that night," she paused for a minute, and she started wiping away a few tears.

"It just hurt Mom. It hurt that you would go behind my back like that. It hurt that you wouldn't see Luke for the wonderful man that he is. It just hurt that you couldn't be happy for me."

Again another pause, "Anyway, I'm sorry too."

I look up at her and smile. She smiles back and another moment of silence passes.

"Lorelai..." I say, "I did misjudge the man, I thought because of his social status he wasn't good for you. I was wrong."

She nods, "So...I guess we've said what we needed to say," she says and stands up to knock on the door to tell them to let us out.

I reach up and catch her hand, "Lorelai wait," I say and pull her back to sit her down. She looks at me in confusion. I take a deep breath and begin,

"I know you wish your childhood was different. I know you never wanted the life that your father and I wanted for you. I know you think we were absent parents and that we never cared about you. You think that I have never been happier for you and never cared about the things that were important to you. You think I have never understood you, and you were right. I never have understood you. I've never tried. There was a part of me that really did cut you off when you didn't want my life anymore. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. I made a lot of mistakes Lorelai," I pause, searching her face to try and decipher what she was feeling. Her eyes filled up with tears and as they fell, I reached up with one hand and wiped them away and then let that hand rest on her cheek. With the other hand I covered her hands.

"Lorelai...I made a lot of mistakes and one of them was not to tell you how much I love you. I haven't always acted like it, I know but I love you and I am proud of the person you have become."

She inhales as the tears overflow, "Oh Mommy" she breathes.

"I want to change. I want to do better," I say. "I want to be the kind of mom you want " I am crying now too. "I'll try Lorelai, I'll really try."

It takes us a few minutes to steady ourselves, wipe away our tears.

"Mom?" she says, still trying to get her emotions under control.

"Yes?"

"I told you a lie,"

"What? When?" I ask.

"On the night that Rory went to her dance."

"What? What dance? The Chilton dance–the one she went to with Dean?"

"Yes–I told you a lie that night," she stops and I wait for her to continue. "Mom, I do remember you making me the mashed bananas on toast. I remember you coming into my room and bringing them to me and always pretending to like them, because it seemed that it was important to you that I liked them and I just wanted you to be happy. I remember so much about my early childhood Mom, I remember how you and I used to be. I've tried to forget. I've tried to forget the good times, because it just hurt so bad to know that we weren't like that anymore. I worshiped you Mom. But it felt like when I didn't want your life you turned away from me–that you didn't want me anymore. It feels like you never forgave me for growing up."

"You're right," I said, the pain of my admission searing through me. "I didn't forgive you for growing up. Maybe that's what drove you to make the choices you did, I don't know. I guess I wanted and prayed for you for so long and then once you got here I didn't know what I was doing. Your childhood was wonderful. It was the best time of my life. You were the one person in my life I didn't have to put on a show for. You loved me for who I was." I look up at her and my eyes filled with tears again, "You can't imagine how much it hurt to loose that."

Her face crumpled, and she held out her arms for me–I moved towards her end enveloped her in my embrace.

"I love you Mom," she whispered.

"I love you too Baby," I said, "I love you too," I rocked her back and forth in my arms for a few minutes–both of us crying. Suddenly we heard an unlocking sound, the door flung open and an uncontrollably sobbing Sookie came in.

"That was so beautiful," she cried, putting one arm around me and one arm around Lorelai. "That was absolutely beautiful! Oh my goodness, I can't stop crying, that was so beautiful!"

"Sookie...were you listening the whole time?" Lorelai asked. Sookie nodded,

"Yes and it was beautiful!" she wailed, letting out a fresh batch of tears. Lorelai looked at me and smiled. I winked at her. We walked out and found Luke was waiting in the kitchen as well. Lorelai went to him and kissed him. I held back for a moment, then I walked to them both.

"Rory's coming to dinner tonight. We'd love to have the both of you as well," I said. Lorelai looked to Luke and he nodded.

"We'll be there," she said.

I smiled, "Wonderful." I placed a hand on her shoulder, and then started to walk away.

"Mom?" she called after me.

"Yes?" I answered.

"This will take time, and work–but today was a good start."

"Yes–it was," I replied smiling. "Yes it was."

I walk outside and I am so delighted I can hardly stand it. I take out my cell phone and dial my home phone number.

"Gilmore residence" Maritza answers.

"Maritiza, this is Mrs. Gilmore. I want you to set the table for dinner–for five,"

Suddenly I realized that I had no ride–the DAR ladies had left. As soon as I had come to this realization–there was a honk. I turned around to see Richard in the parking lot. I walked over to the car and got in. He looked over at me smiling,

"Everything okay?" he asks. I smile, and for the first time in a long time–I felt a weight lifted. Yes, it would take time and work, but Lorelai and I would be fine–just fine.

"Yes..." I reply–for the first time, in a long time, "everything's okay."


	15. Epilogue: Lorelai is Founded

Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait in finishing up this story. I have had an unbelievably crazy few weeks. Hope all is well with all of you! Enjoy!

Here I am again–it's amazing how little it's changed in twenty-one years. Twenty-one years–that boggles my mind, can it really have been twenty-one years ago? I turn and look at her, nervously twitching in her seat. Yes, it's been twenty-one years since I was last in this room. I take her hand in mine–the reason why I was in this room, who celebrated her twenty-first birthday last October. Richard left us an hour ago–probably out pacing the grounds somewhere. He has never been one for sitting and waiting. I try to look at my watch without Rory noticing. It's been over twenty hours and I am getting more than a little concerned. Rory looks over at me, sensing my anxiety. Suddenly she looks five years old. I put my arm around her. She leans forward and rests her head on my shoulder.

"She'll be alright Sweetie," I say quietly, trying to sound confident.

"What if something's wrong?" she asks. I reach up and smooth the hair away from her forehead.

"Nothing's wrong. We'd know. These doctors remember me. They're scared of me. If something was wrong–I'd know." She laughs lightly and sits back up–her moment of regression to childhood over.

Suddenly, through the shades I can see the doctor walking towards us–quickly. My heart starts pounding. Something was wrong--it has been too long, I could tell it in the doctor's eyes.

"Rory, I could really use a cup of coffee. Would you mind getting one for me?" I ask her quickly.

"Sure Grandma," she says, and thankfully walks out the other door on the other side from where the doctor is about to come in. I stand up quickly as he walks in.

"What is it, what's wrong?" I ask nervously.

"Mrs. Gilmore, the labor is going a lot slower than we thought. Lorelai's blood pressure is dangerously high. We're beginning preparations for a C-section." the doctor tells me, and then as quickly as he came, he leaves again.

A C-section–I can handle that, they'd get the baby out, the baby would be fine, and Lorelai would be fine. Everything was going to be fine. I keep saying that to myself over and over again as I sit down in the chair. Everything will be fine...Everything will be fine...Everything will be fine...and suddenly, my heart wins out over my head and I start to sob.

"_Mommy, why do birds have two wings?" Lorelai asked from atop Richard's shoulders. _

"_I don't know Lorelai," I replied–not really hearing the question. Lately, when ever I heard the word Mommy and a question reflection at the end, the phrase "I don't know" was on automatic pilot. Lorelai was in that questioning phrase, wanting to know about everything and anything. _

"_Richard, why in Heaven's name did we come on this hike?" I asked. We could have been sitting in the cabin, by a nice fire, but Richard was on this nature kick and suddenly decided that we needed to become a Wilderness family. _

"_Emily, we're not in the jungle, we are on a nice beautiful, hike with a paved sidewalk. What more could you want?" _

"_I like it Daddy" Lorelai said, patting his head. Richard smiled, _

"_Thank you Lori-Bug" Richard chuckled. I looked up at Lorelai. _

"_Trader!" I said smiling. She giggled. _

"_Mommy?" she asked a moment later. _

"_Yes?" _

"_What's a trader?" _

_It had been a beautiful hike. It was delightful to be together too–just the three of us. We reached the end of the hike, a beautiful waterfall. _

"_Oh Richard. It's beautiful!" I breathed as he put his arm around me. _

"_Can I get down?" Lorelai asked. Richard lifted her down. _

"_Don't go near the water!" I said. _

"_I won't" she answered back. Still, I watched her like a hawk. _

"_Emily! Richard!" we heard a call. We turned. It was the Pullmans. _

"_John! Kathryn! What are you doing out here?" Richard asked, starting towards them. I turned to look at Lorelai. She was on a small area of grass, playing with some sticks. I walk towards the Pullmans, continuingly looking over_ _my shoulder. The Pullmans start talking about their vacation, work, life, and I look over my shoulder–checking on Lorelai. Richard starts talking about business, and I start talking about the DAR. _

_Then...Kathryn says three words, "How is Lorelai?" and then I realize with a start that it has been an eternity since I turned to check on her...how long? Five minutes? Fifteen? I turn to look, certain as my head is turning that I am being an overly paranoid mother. I turn and my feet give way underneath me...she's gone. This can't be real, this is my dream and it's not real, it can't be. I just need to wake up, wake up...come on, please wake up! _

"_Richard!" I cry out. Richard turns from his conversation. "Richard, she's gone! I wasn't watching her and she's gone!" I yell. Richard yells out fiercely, "Lorelai! Lorelai!" but there is no answer. _

"_Richard!" I scream again, "Richard, she's in the water! She's in the water!" Without missing a beat, Richard, plunges into the water. John starts down the trail with Kathryn close behind him, "We'll go for help!" John yells. I run closer to the water–this wasn't happening! This couldn't be happening. Richard comes up gasping for breath. "Lorelai!" he calls again. "Lorelai!" Still there is no answer. What I wouldn't give to here her calling my name now! He plunges down again, and time seems to stop. Where is she? Why wasn't I paying more attention? Why wasn't I watching her? Richard surfaces again, shaking his head. "She's not down there," he gasps between breaths. "She's not down there." I help him out of the river, and he starts towards the woods. _

"_Lorelai!" he yells again. "Lorelai answer me!" I run after him. "John and Kathryn have gone for help. We need to get you out of those clothes. You're going to get hypothermia!" He pays no attention to me, crashing through bushes and branches of trees–anything that stands in his way. _

"_Where could she go?" I sobbed, "It was a second, I only had my back turned for a second!" Richard still didn't respond. _

"_Emily, Richard! The forest rangers are here!" we heard Kathryn call. I could see Richard start shaking, whether from the effects of the bitter cold or the terror of his worst nightmare coming true, I wasn't sure. The rangers got Richard out of the wet clothes and got him a blanket. I gave them the description of Lorelai. I got as far as telling them that she had the most beautiful black curling hair before I fell apart. Kathryn finished the description for me. They ordered Richard and I back to the start of the trail, and they built a fire for Richard to try and get him warm. An hour went by...two...and at two and a half hours I began cursing God. What kind of a God would give me a child, a perfect child that I had prayed so long for...and take her away because of my own stupidity. We didn't talk to each other–Richard and I, we just sat there, staring at the entrance of the hike, listening to the searchers call out Lorelai's name. Their searchlights occasionally flashed, making the woods look full of fireflies. _

"_It was only a few minutes. I'm sure Richard. It was only a few minutes," I mutter weakly. He reaches over and takes my hand. We sit there together, helpless, waiting. _

"_I have her!" we suddenly hear a shout. "I have the little girl!" Richard and I vaulted from where we were sitting. _

"_Is she alright?" we call out simultaneously, wondering which light had our little girl. We hear a commotion close to the trail head and start running towards it. We get there and see one of the rangers hurrying down the trail with a little girl clinging to him–our little girl. _

"_Lorelai!" I cried out and she turned towards me. She held out her arms for me, and I rushed to her, gathering her in my arms, barely able to hear the ranger's voice telling me she was fine through my own sobs. She hugged me tightly, running her hand up and down my back as if she sensed that I was the one in need of comfort and reassuring. She looked up and saw her father standing there. She wriggled out of my embrace and as she walked towards Richard he dropped to his knees. She ran to him, throwing her arms around him and I watched as Richard crushed her to him, sobbing as though his heart would break. He picked her up and carried her back to the campfire, and there she told us the story of how she had chased a bird and gotten lost. She had fallen asleep after awhile, underneath a large pine tree that had covered her like a canopy, making her oblivious to the searchers. _

"_I'm sorry Daddy" she said quietly. He hugged her to him, "I'm just glad your okay Lori-Bug. I'm just glad your okay," he said, choking up again. He turned to me, "I'll go get the car." he said, and got up. I turned to look at her, my precious baby girl. Tears filled my eyes again. She turned to me and brought her little hand up to cheek. _

"_Mommy?" _

"_Yes Baby?" _

"_It's okay. I got lost but I got founded. It's okay now," she said. I bring my hand to touch her cheek and she leaves hers on mine. _

"_Yeah...you did. You got founded." _

"Grandma? Grandma wake up. The doctor's coming," Rory is calling me. I wake up with a start. "How long was I asleep?" I ask, amazed that I had dozed off. "About an hour," she replies, keeping her eyes focused on the doctor. I shake my head–half in disbelief, and half in an effort to shake the sleep off of me and orient myself to my surroundings.

The doctor enters and Rory reaches over and grabs my hand. "We didn't have to do a c-section. The baby got it's act together, and came out just fine with a little help."

"Grandma, grandma, you're hurting my hand." Rory whispers.

"It's here? The baby's here, and it's okay?" I cry out. The doctor nodds,

"The baby is here. Mom and baby are just fine." he says smiling. Rory gives a little jump and cries out excitedly. She throws her arms around me and I hug her tightly.

"Can you send someone to tell my husband please?" I ask, wiping away tears. The doctor nods and I turn back to hug Rory.

"Wait!" I call as the doctor leaves, "What is it?" I ask. I grab Rory's hand and hurry down the hall. The door to the room opens and Luke steps out, his face gray and tired from the long night of labor, but obviously delighted with the little bundle in the pink blanket he held.

"Rory, Emily," he says, using one hand to wipe away tears at his eyes. He walks towards me and puts the infant in my arms.

"It's a girl," he whispers, almost reverently.

"Oh..." I say, taking in a sharp breath to stave off more tears, "I just love girls," I turn to hand the baby to her waiting older sister. "How's Lorelai?" I ask anxiously. He smiled, and I could see the fear that had ate at him during the past day. "She's going to be just fine." he replied. "You can see her, but they only want one at a time to go in." I look towards Rory, who is captivated by her new sister. "You can go first Grandma," she says. I hurry towards the door, and then slowly open the door and walk in. She is looking at me, smiling. "We sure know how to manufacture the girls in the Gilmore factory don't we?" she says weakly. I smile and walk towards her. "She's perfect Lorelai, absolutely perfect. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you Mom." she says. "I'm so glad you were here," I smile at her, and suddenly seeing her lying their in the bed, white and weak, tears pool over in my eyes again. She reaches out her hand, and I take it as I sit down in the chair next to her. Not wanting to cause her anymore pain, but needing to touch her, needing to connect with her, I brought my other hand up to her forehead. She reaches up and places a hand on my cheek.

"It's okay Mommy," she says, "I got founded."

The door opens and Rory comes in, followed by Luke, followed by Richard, followed by a nurse who is angrily whispering that we are breaking the one at a time rule. We stay only for a minute and then we are sheparded out. Richard walks ahead of me, his arm around Rory, and I walk happily behind them. Life is perfect. At this time last year, I had lost everything, but now–it's perfect. I had my husband, I had my little girl, I had two perfect grandbabies, and I had a Luke–a wonderful, dirty, scruffy, make-my-daughter-happy Luke. It couldn't get any better than this. Rory starts towards her car, and we insist that she come home with us. She agrees. She wants to visit the gift store and buy her new sister a present. She hurries downstairs and Richard puts his arm around me. "Let's go take one more look," he says, as he points to the nursery window. We walk over to the nursery and see the nurse bringing a baby in.

"Is that her?" Richard asks. I chuckle, "Richard, do you think any baby with that much hair could not be Lorelai's?" He laughs lightly. "You're right." The nurse has recognized us and smiles. She places the baby in it's clear bed, and fastens a "It's a Girl" sign onto the front.

Richard draws in a breath. "Emily–look," he whispers. I look at the card and put my hands over my mouth,

_It's a Girl!_

_Parents–Luke and Lorelai Danes_

_Name–Danes, Alicia Emily _


End file.
